Tuesday, March 23, 2010
By Carol Ann
The majority of all marriage problems are related to the lack of effective communication between spouses. Although if you were to ask each spouse separately how their communication skills are they would assure you that there is no problems. Unfortunately their spouses will have something very different to say.
This is nothing to fear, however, and can be resolved fairly easily. One of the most effective ways to mange this problem is to step up some communication rules that both you and your spouse need to properly follow and at all times, when you want to convey a message to your spouse and want to make sure the message is clearly understood.
1. Use A Talking Object- When one partner is talking the other needs to be quietly listening, and this can only happen when you are taking turns. Most couples will talk over each other, because they are so anxious to make their point and they wind up missing what the other person is saying. Using an object that is held for the purpose of communicating can really help couples take their time to talk and also their time to listen. This object is held by the person who is talking and helps to create an environment where one person has the floor and the other one is just listening.
3. Stay On Track With Your Conversation- A lot of times while a couple attempts to communicate they begin calling down additional events from their past. They have such a history together that one matter extends to another and therefore eventually back into a controversy. Dealing exclusively with one matter at a time could genuinely assist in centering the communicating to ensure that both spouses are on the same page.
3. Wait Before You Speak- When a problem arises couples often want to discuss it then and there, and this can cause for a very heated argument, as both will be agitated and defensive. Instead, create a specific day and time where you can sit down and discuss the issues that arise during the week. This gives you and your spouse a change to think about the issues and what you would like ot communicate to your spouse. This will allow you to both discuss all the issues rationally and without getting into a heated argument.
This is nothing to fear, however, and can be resolved fairly easily. One of the most effective ways to mange this problem is to step up some communication rules that both you and your spouse need to properly follow and at all times, when you want to convey a message to your spouse and want to make sure the message is clearly understood.
1. Use A Talking Object- When one partner is talking the other needs to be quietly listening, and this can only happen when you are taking turns. Most couples will talk over each other, because they are so anxious to make their point and they wind up missing what the other person is saying. Using an object that is held for the purpose of communicating can really help couples take their time to talk and also their time to listen. This object is held by the person who is talking and helps to create an environment where one person has the floor and the other one is just listening.
3. Stay On Track With Your Conversation- A lot of times while a couple attempts to communicate they begin calling down additional events from their past. They have such a history together that one matter extends to another and therefore eventually back into a controversy. Dealing exclusively with one matter at a time could genuinely assist in centering the communicating to ensure that both spouses are on the same page.
3. Wait Before You Speak- When a problem arises couples often want to discuss it then and there, and this can cause for a very heated argument, as both will be agitated and defensive. Instead, create a specific day and time where you can sit down and discuss the issues that arise during the week. This gives you and your spouse a change to think about the issues and what you would like ot communicate to your spouse. This will allow you to both discuss all the issues rationally and without getting into a heated argument.
About the Author:
If you are experiencing marriage problems, take a look at www.lightyourfire.com immediately. We will help you avoid divorce, and and remove the need for you to look up save my marriage on the internet.
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