Showing posts with label Common Beliefs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Common Beliefs. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Belief #1:
SHE’LL NEVER BE SATISFIED.
Truth:
Women are always looking for ways to make things better. Don’t take her suggestions as complaints or criticisms, but as her desire to make the relationship or situation the best that it can be.
Belief #2:
A STRONG, CONFIDENT WOMAN DOESN’T NEED A MAN TO TAKE CARE OF HER.
Truth:
Everyone loves to be taken care of and to feel needed. Even if a woman can fix things around the house or change the oil in her car, she will still ask for your help so she can feel your strength, support and protection. Don’t ever stop asking, “What can I do for you?” because it shows her that you care.
Belief #3:
WOMEN ONLY WANT TO CONTROL MEN.
Truth:
It’s not about control; it’s about love. When a woman sees a man hurting, struggling or overwhelmed, her goal is to help, not control.
Let her give you a helping hand.
Belief #4:
KEEPING A WOMAN REQUIRES A LOT OF HARD WORK, TIME AND MONEY.
Truth:
A serious relationship requires time and effort to cultivate it. You shouldn’t look at it as a burden.
Your wife or girlfriend will reciprocate the effort you put into it.
Belief #5:
YOU CAN’T LIE TO WOMEN.
Truth:
Women are extremely capable of picking up moods and attitudes and can easily read body language and facial expressions. Although you may think that you have gotten away with a great lie, she is either letting it slide because she wants to keep the peace, or she is lying to herself because she’s afraid of the truth.
Belief #6:
JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS ARE A PART OF BEING A WOMAN.
Truth:
Women are protective of what belongs to them.
They protect the things they value, especially when it comes to relationships. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you; she is guarding the relationship.
You are too precious to her for her to allow anything bad to happen.
Belief #7:
WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL.
Truth:
Women don’t hide their feelings.
They articulate what’s going on in their minds.
There’s nothing wrong with emotions—we all have them. Being in touch with their emotions causes women to be sensitive and caring, and that’s why men love them.
SHE’LL NEVER BE SATISFIED.
Truth:
Women are always looking for ways to make things better. Don’t take her suggestions as complaints or criticisms, but as her desire to make the relationship or situation the best that it can be.
Belief #2:
A STRONG, CONFIDENT WOMAN DOESN’T NEED A MAN TO TAKE CARE OF HER.
Truth:
Everyone loves to be taken care of and to feel needed. Even if a woman can fix things around the house or change the oil in her car, she will still ask for your help so she can feel your strength, support and protection. Don’t ever stop asking, “What can I do for you?” because it shows her that you care.
Belief #3:
WOMEN ONLY WANT TO CONTROL MEN.
Truth:
It’s not about control; it’s about love. When a woman sees a man hurting, struggling or overwhelmed, her goal is to help, not control.
Let her give you a helping hand.
Belief #4:
KEEPING A WOMAN REQUIRES A LOT OF HARD WORK, TIME AND MONEY.
Truth:
A serious relationship requires time and effort to cultivate it. You shouldn’t look at it as a burden.
Your wife or girlfriend will reciprocate the effort you put into it.
Belief #5:
YOU CAN’T LIE TO WOMEN.
Truth:
Women are extremely capable of picking up moods and attitudes and can easily read body language and facial expressions. Although you may think that you have gotten away with a great lie, she is either letting it slide because she wants to keep the peace, or she is lying to herself because she’s afraid of the truth.
Belief #6:
JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS ARE A PART OF BEING A WOMAN.
Truth:
Women are protective of what belongs to them.
They protect the things they value, especially when it comes to relationships. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you; she is guarding the relationship.
You are too precious to her for her to allow anything bad to happen.
Belief #7:
WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL.
Truth:
Women don’t hide their feelings.
They articulate what’s going on in their minds.
There’s nothing wrong with emotions—we all have them. Being in touch with their emotions causes women to be sensitive and caring, and that’s why men love them.
"There are many fine women in the world; but you are the best of them all".
“Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs.”
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Reference:
by Marshall Goldsmith, Ph.D.
[Talent Management Magazine November 2007]
Success can make us superstitious in how we behave. Specifically, four beliefs - that we have the skills, the confidence, the motivation and the choice to succeed - lead us to this mindset.
Some of you are probably thinking, "No way! I'm not superstitious. I know exactly why I'm successful: because I earned it."
Fair enough. And it's probably safe to assume most of you don't subscribe to "childish" superstitions such as misfortune from walking under a ladder, breaking a mirror or seeing a black cat cross your path. In fact, you more than likely scorn these beliefs as primitive and irrational and assure yourself that you're above these silly notions.
But let's re-examine the notion of superstition. Psychologically speaking, superstitious behavior stems from the idea that a specific activity culminating in a positive result is the basis for that outcome, that cause-and-effect is immutable.
The action might or might not be functional (that is, it might affect someone or something else, or it might be self-contained and wholly irrelevant), but if something good follows, then we automatically attribute it to that particular behavior and repeat it for similar results.
Psychologist B.F. Skinner was among the first to highlight this inanity. In his experiments, a group of hungry pigeons was fed small pellets of grain after they twitched in a certain way. They learned to repeat the twitches because they thought this action led to food.
But outside this contrived situation, that twitching motion had nothing to do with getting fed - if your average pigeon on the street instinctually thought that food would just appear if it simply twitched a little, it would starve.
Sounds silly, doesn't it? We would never behave that way. We assure ourselves that we're more highly evolved than Skinner's pigeons.
But from my experience, "hungry" business people who are climbing the corporate ladder repeat certain behaviors all the time because they think it automatically will lead to money, recognition and promotion.
Superstition is merely the confusion of correlation and causality. Any human or animal tends to repeat any behavior that is followed by positive reinforcement (and avoid all actions that are followed by negative reinforcement).
One of the greatest mistakes people make, then, is the assumption, "I behave this way and achieve results. Therefore, I must be achieving results because I behave this way."
This belief is sometimes true but not across the board. That's where superstition kicks in. It's the core fallacy that necessitated my most recent book, What Got You Here Won't Get You There. (See? It's right there in the title.)
Almost everyone I meet is successful because of doing many things right, and almost everyone I meet is successful in spite of some behavior that defies common sense. Of course, that's the human condition - nobody's perfect.
One of my greatest challenges is helping leaders in organizations see the difference, understand that they're confusing "because of" and "in spite of" behaviors and avoid this superstition trap.
I've worked with innovators who insisted their cruel comments to colleagues were absolutely necessary because those pithy, memorable zingers led to some of their best ideas. Then, I ask them if they've ever met a nice person who's as creative as they are. That gets them thinking!
I've worked with salespeople who think their pushy, almost belligerent tactics with customers close more deals. But if that's true, I point out, then how do your friendlier co-workers manage to sell anything? Could your success be attributed to the fact that you're selling a great product or making more sales calls?
I've worked with executives who think their remote aloofness with direct reports is a controlled, calculated strategy to get people to think for themselves. I concede that fostering initiative among employees is the leader's job, but is this detached disposition legitimately designed to establish independence, or are you justifying it after the fact because that's who you are and you refuse to change? And where will you be if they've done all this thinking for themselves and something goes horribly wrong as a result? You'll be accountable, and you certainly won't be able to use your impassiveness as an excuse.
About the Author:
by Marshall Goldsmith, Ph.D.
[Talent Management Magazine November 2007]
Success can make us superstitious in how we behave. Specifically, four beliefs - that we have the skills, the confidence, the motivation and the choice to succeed - lead us to this mindset.
Some of you are probably thinking, "No way! I'm not superstitious. I know exactly why I'm successful: because I earned it."
Fair enough. And it's probably safe to assume most of you don't subscribe to "childish" superstitions such as misfortune from walking under a ladder, breaking a mirror or seeing a black cat cross your path. In fact, you more than likely scorn these beliefs as primitive and irrational and assure yourself that you're above these silly notions.
But let's re-examine the notion of superstition. Psychologically speaking, superstitious behavior stems from the idea that a specific activity culminating in a positive result is the basis for that outcome, that cause-and-effect is immutable.
The action might or might not be functional (that is, it might affect someone or something else, or it might be self-contained and wholly irrelevant), but if something good follows, then we automatically attribute it to that particular behavior and repeat it for similar results.
Psychologist B.F. Skinner was among the first to highlight this inanity. In his experiments, a group of hungry pigeons was fed small pellets of grain after they twitched in a certain way. They learned to repeat the twitches because they thought this action led to food.
But outside this contrived situation, that twitching motion had nothing to do with getting fed - if your average pigeon on the street instinctually thought that food would just appear if it simply twitched a little, it would starve.
Sounds silly, doesn't it? We would never behave that way. We assure ourselves that we're more highly evolved than Skinner's pigeons.
But from my experience, "hungry" business people who are climbing the corporate ladder repeat certain behaviors all the time because they think it automatically will lead to money, recognition and promotion.
Superstition is merely the confusion of correlation and causality. Any human or animal tends to repeat any behavior that is followed by positive reinforcement (and avoid all actions that are followed by negative reinforcement).
One of the greatest mistakes people make, then, is the assumption, "I behave this way and achieve results. Therefore, I must be achieving results because I behave this way."
This belief is sometimes true but not across the board. That's where superstition kicks in. It's the core fallacy that necessitated my most recent book, What Got You Here Won't Get You There. (See? It's right there in the title.)
Almost everyone I meet is successful because of doing many things right, and almost everyone I meet is successful in spite of some behavior that defies common sense. Of course, that's the human condition - nobody's perfect.
One of my greatest challenges is helping leaders in organizations see the difference, understand that they're confusing "because of" and "in spite of" behaviors and avoid this superstition trap.
I've worked with innovators who insisted their cruel comments to colleagues were absolutely necessary because those pithy, memorable zingers led to some of their best ideas. Then, I ask them if they've ever met a nice person who's as creative as they are. That gets them thinking!
I've worked with salespeople who think their pushy, almost belligerent tactics with customers close more deals. But if that's true, I point out, then how do your friendlier co-workers manage to sell anything? Could your success be attributed to the fact that you're selling a great product or making more sales calls?
I've worked with executives who think their remote aloofness with direct reports is a controlled, calculated strategy to get people to think for themselves. I concede that fostering initiative among employees is the leader's job, but is this detached disposition legitimately designed to establish independence, or are you justifying it after the fact because that's who you are and you refuse to change? And where will you be if they've done all this thinking for themselves and something goes horribly wrong as a result? You'll be accountable, and you certainly won't be able to use your impassiveness as an excuse.
About the Author:
Dr. Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. He is the author or co-editor of 22 books, including The Wall Street Journal No. 1 business best-seller What Got You Here Won't Get You There.]
Friday, April 10, 2009
It is easy to do nothing.
Yet what is easiest is not always what is best.
It is easy to hope for the best outcome.
To actually bring it about often requires difficult
and even painful decisions, actions and solid,
tangible commitment.
Yet what is easiest is not always what is best.
It is easy to hope for the best outcome.
To actually bring it about often requires difficult
and even painful decisions, actions and solid,
tangible commitment.
It is easy to criticize the actions of others,
particularly in hindsight, or to speculate about what
should have been done.
But nothing ever has been accomplished by criticism
or speculation alone.
Accomplishment comes from those who are willing
to put themselves on the line.
The world moves forward because of those people
who step up to do what is right and what is best,
rather than just what is easiest.
Taking the easy way out can often lead to results
that are not so easy to handle.
Doing nothing is easy to justify and easy to implement,
but in the long run it ends up being a difficult,
burdensome way to live.
Make your choices based not on what is easy,
but on what is best, and do what you know needs to be done.
That's the strategy to take you where you truly would like to be.
Reference:
Ralph Marston
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Happiness is a serious business - both personally & professionally.
0 comments Posted by Bloggers World at 1:58 AMIts importance at personal level is easier to understand ; not so easy to appreciate but equally important is happiness of human capital to any organization's bottom line. Happy, healthy people create the ultimate competitive advantage. It makes a strong business sense. Stressed, negative, unfit, grumpy people will neutralize the advantage of any good technology or product.
Lasting happiness is the eternal quest of every form of life. Everything that we do – not just we humans, but other sentient forms of life also – is to find happiness. We earn to be happy, we spend to be happy ; we work to be happy, we take a break from work to be happy ; we wake up every morning to continue our search for happiness, and at night we retire to find happiness from the post- work restfulness of sleep - sleep is like an unconscious meditation. All our lives, we live in search of happiness, and through death we move on to other realms in the same perennial quest.
There can be no happiness without health, unless of course one has entirely transcended body consciousness, such as Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa who could dance in joy with a bleeding cancer in his throat had done, or Sri Ramana Maharshi, who too had cancer, but could smile in deep bliss. Such saints actually take the karma of their disciples to work out on their own bodies, out of their limitless compassion.
Now, physical health is impossible without a reasonably peaceful mind which in turn must be anchored in the reason of the intellect. The sensory mind which governs the five senses, is the lower mind, because it gets easily bribed by the sensory inputs. It only understands pleasure and pain. The discriminating intellect with all its reasoning faculty, is our higher mind, and it tries to tell the lower mind what is good for it and what is not, regardless of whether it is pleasurable or unpleasurable. Pain is an important part of life's learning, but suffering is optional through attitudes, through how we pertceive the challenge.
Right eating is crucial to good physical health. We become what we eat – the gross part of our food builds the body, the fine part (the subtle sattwic / rajasic / tamasic nature of what we eat) builds the mind. Fresh seasonal vegetables and fruits, nuts (esp. almonds), milk and milk products and well cooked cereals are good for us ; non- veg, preserved (`dead') food, processed and highly spiced foods should be abstained from. There are several scientific reasons in
favour of a vegetarian diet.
Equally important for good physical health is daily exercise. A doctor in the West recently said, if exercises could be packed in a pill, it will be the world's most selling drug. But it cannot be
done ; we just have to do them. Brisk walk, Yoga, cycling, swimming, playing outdoor games, light/moderate gym activity etc are great help. Controlled diet and daily exercise can effectively cure the dreaded modern disease of obesity with the offshoots of hypertension, diabetes, cardiac ailments etc. Daily adequate sleep and rest, good hygiene etc are also important to physical wellness.
Mental peace, so essential to sustained good physical health, is best obtained by daily Pranayama and an introspective management of ego-driven emotions. This will also keep our relationships healthy and promote all-round happiness.
So we see, happiness is not pleasure. It demands discipline that can be bitter in doing but sweet in results. When we eat and sleep right, love our work, do daily exercise and Pranayama, we shall gradually be closer to a purification where meditation becomes possible.
Meditation, coupled with right living and right activity, will introduce us to the true bliss – the ultimate happiness – at spiritual level. Then love becomes our nature and we always live in
an indescribable tranquility where multi-level wellness is a by- product.
The physical disciplines mentioned above, the right living principles, daily Pranayama and meditation will together create grounds for a lasting wellness and true happiness. Our bad habits will then fall off, uprooted from the field of consciousness like useless weeds. It is hard to re-engineer habits unless we develop our self-awareness and will. Habits are mental automatic machines, they force us to do things against our will. Pranayama and Meditation bring about what modern science calls 'neuro-plasticity of the brain' ; they re-wire the brain circuits and cauterize the brain cells, creating newer, better neural pathways.
So friends, happiness is our ultimate quest ; it is our serious business - both personally and professionally.
Cheers,
Reference:
Hans Dholakia
Lasting happiness is the eternal quest of every form of life. Everything that we do – not just we humans, but other sentient forms of life also – is to find happiness. We earn to be happy, we spend to be happy ; we work to be happy, we take a break from work to be happy ; we wake up every morning to continue our search for happiness, and at night we retire to find happiness from the post- work restfulness of sleep - sleep is like an unconscious meditation. All our lives, we live in search of happiness, and through death we move on to other realms in the same perennial quest.
There can be no happiness without health, unless of course one has entirely transcended body consciousness, such as Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa who could dance in joy with a bleeding cancer in his throat had done, or Sri Ramana Maharshi, who too had cancer, but could smile in deep bliss. Such saints actually take the karma of their disciples to work out on their own bodies, out of their limitless compassion.
Now, physical health is impossible without a reasonably peaceful mind which in turn must be anchored in the reason of the intellect. The sensory mind which governs the five senses, is the lower mind, because it gets easily bribed by the sensory inputs. It only understands pleasure and pain. The discriminating intellect with all its reasoning faculty, is our higher mind, and it tries to tell the lower mind what is good for it and what is not, regardless of whether it is pleasurable or unpleasurable. Pain is an important part of life's learning, but suffering is optional through attitudes, through how we pertceive the challenge.
Right eating is crucial to good physical health. We become what we eat – the gross part of our food builds the body, the fine part (the subtle sattwic / rajasic / tamasic nature of what we eat) builds the mind. Fresh seasonal vegetables and fruits, nuts (esp. almonds), milk and milk products and well cooked cereals are good for us ; non- veg, preserved (`dead') food, processed and highly spiced foods should be abstained from. There are several scientific reasons in
favour of a vegetarian diet.
Equally important for good physical health is daily exercise. A doctor in the West recently said, if exercises could be packed in a pill, it will be the world's most selling drug. But it cannot be
done ; we just have to do them. Brisk walk, Yoga, cycling, swimming, playing outdoor games, light/moderate gym activity etc are great help. Controlled diet and daily exercise can effectively cure the dreaded modern disease of obesity with the offshoots of hypertension, diabetes, cardiac ailments etc. Daily adequate sleep and rest, good hygiene etc are also important to physical wellness.
Mental peace, so essential to sustained good physical health, is best obtained by daily Pranayama and an introspective management of ego-driven emotions. This will also keep our relationships healthy and promote all-round happiness.
So we see, happiness is not pleasure. It demands discipline that can be bitter in doing but sweet in results. When we eat and sleep right, love our work, do daily exercise and Pranayama, we shall gradually be closer to a purification where meditation becomes possible.
Meditation, coupled with right living and right activity, will introduce us to the true bliss – the ultimate happiness – at spiritual level. Then love becomes our nature and we always live in
an indescribable tranquility where multi-level wellness is a by- product.
The physical disciplines mentioned above, the right living principles, daily Pranayama and meditation will together create grounds for a lasting wellness and true happiness. Our bad habits will then fall off, uprooted from the field of consciousness like useless weeds. It is hard to re-engineer habits unless we develop our self-awareness and will. Habits are mental automatic machines, they force us to do things against our will. Pranayama and Meditation bring about what modern science calls 'neuro-plasticity of the brain' ; they re-wire the brain circuits and cauterize the brain cells, creating newer, better neural pathways.
So friends, happiness is our ultimate quest ; it is our serious business - both personally and professionally.
Cheers,
Reference:
Hans Dholakia
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The proper function of man is to live - not to exist."
Jack London
It's not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.
What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.
It's not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.
What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.
1. Love.
Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.
2. Get Outside.
Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.
3. Savor Food.
Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.
4. Create a Morning Ritual.
Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.
5. Take chances.
We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?
6. Follow Excitement.
Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).
7. Find your Passion.
Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.
8. Get out of your Cubicle.
Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.
9. Turn off the TV.
How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.
10. Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.
10. Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.
11. Travel.
Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.
12. Rediscover what's Important.
Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.
13. Eliminate Everything Else.
13. Eliminate Everything Else.
What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.
14. Exercise.
Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.
15. Be Positive.
Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!
16. Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.
16. Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.
17. Kiss in the Rain.
Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.
18. Face your Fears.
What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.
19. When you Suffer, Suffer.
Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.
20. Slow Down.
Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.
21. Touch Humanity.
Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.
22. Volunteer.
Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.
23. Play with Children.
Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.
24. Talk to old People.
There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.
25. Learn New Skills.
Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.
26. Find Spirituality.
For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.
27. Take Mini-Retirements.
Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.
28. Do Nothing.
Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.
29. Stop playing video games.
They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.
30. Watch sunsets, daily.
One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.
31. Stop Reading Magazines.
They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.
32. Break out from ruts.
Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.
33. Stop watching the news.
It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.
34. Laugh till you cry.
Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.
35. Lose control.
Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.
36. Cry.
Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.
37. Make an Awesome Dessert.
I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.
38. Try something new, every week.
Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.
39. Be in the Moment.
Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Heart Touching...
I was a just-born and she was Twenty-Five,
Though we were we, we were one.
I would cry out in Latin and she would respond in Greek,
I would learn nothing but she never got tired to teach.
I was surrounded by monsters eager to pull my cheek,
but they would vanish the moment I was wet and weep.
She would come running and hold me in her arms,
as if I had won the contest of the charms.
Now I was able to walk and chew,
and hey, I was two.
I and she could now understand each other,
I was her everything and she needed no other.
I would try to walk and fall down,
But knowing she was with me,
the fear of getting hurt was now gone.
We still could not converse that effectively,
But she would understand my needs so easily.
I could now roam about free,
because now I have turned three.
I was ready to join a new world,
my academic life was now gonna mould.
She would dress me as best as a prince,
but when I would come back,
she would need at least an hour to rinse.
I was now able to talk,
I was a ferry and she was my dock.
I still remember the child, whose shirt I had tore,
Hey buddy, I have turned four.
I now came home a little late,
Nevertheless finding her waiting at the gate.
She would hug me and carry me in her arms,
it felt like flying through the farms.
We now did the homework together,
I would spoil the home and she used to work.
Years passed and now I was fifteen,
and with each year I would forget to lean.
I wouldn't care for what she said,
because now I had become mean.
She would ask me to study for a good future,
but I was busy in a different culture.
Now I had many shes in my life,
I dreamed of having one of them as my wife.
I changed a lot which she did not teach,
She would try to hug me but I was out of reach.
She still waited for me at the gate,
but I would look at her with utmost hate.
She would be awake till late in the night,
because I wasn't home, I was in a fight.
She had so much to scold, but she never did say,
hoping to find me better the next day.
Time went on and now I am grown,
lost in the world of my own.
I and she, between us have a river,
I have left her for my career.
When I was young, for me, she sacrificed her ambitions,
but I don't care, I now have my own mission.
I am not with her now, I am in a different city,
she is so old now but I don't even pity.
She needs me now but I am nowhere to find,
in the race for appraisal, I have become blind.
In a few years from now, I will be two,
there will be in my life someone new.
Then I'll forget even to bother,
I am her son and
she is my Mother.
Go someone is still waiting for you
I was a just-born and she was Twenty-Five,
Though we were we, we were one.
I would cry out in Latin and she would respond in Greek,
I would learn nothing but she never got tired to teach.
I was surrounded by monsters eager to pull my cheek,
but they would vanish the moment I was wet and weep.
She would come running and hold me in her arms,
as if I had won the contest of the charms.
Now I was able to walk and chew,
and hey, I was two.
I and she could now understand each other,
I was her everything and she needed no other.
I would try to walk and fall down,
But knowing she was with me,
the fear of getting hurt was now gone.
We still could not converse that effectively,
But she would understand my needs so easily.
I could now roam about free,
because now I have turned three.
I was ready to join a new world,
my academic life was now gonna mould.
She would dress me as best as a prince,
but when I would come back,
she would need at least an hour to rinse.
I was now able to talk,
I was a ferry and she was my dock.
I still remember the child, whose shirt I had tore,
Hey buddy, I have turned four.
I now came home a little late,
Nevertheless finding her waiting at the gate.
She would hug me and carry me in her arms,
it felt like flying through the farms.
We now did the homework together,
I would spoil the home and she used to work.
Years passed and now I was fifteen,
and with each year I would forget to lean.
I wouldn't care for what she said,
because now I had become mean.
She would ask me to study for a good future,
but I was busy in a different culture.
Now I had many shes in my life,
I dreamed of having one of them as my wife.
I changed a lot which she did not teach,
She would try to hug me but I was out of reach.
She still waited for me at the gate,
but I would look at her with utmost hate.
She would be awake till late in the night,
because I wasn't home, I was in a fight.
She had so much to scold, but she never did say,
hoping to find me better the next day.
Time went on and now I am grown,
lost in the world of my own.
I and she, between us have a river,
I have left her for my career.
When I was young, for me, she sacrificed her ambitions,
but I don't care, I now have my own mission.
I am not with her now, I am in a different city,
she is so old now but I don't even pity.
She needs me now but I am nowhere to find,
in the race for appraisal, I have become blind.
In a few years from now, I will be two,
there will be in my life someone new.
Then I'll forget even to bother,
I am her son and
she is my Mother.
Go someone is still waiting for you
Friday, November 14, 2008
Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you just ran out of words and you go...
S i l e n t ???
S i l e n t ???
Let me assist you in recalling....... the moment when you left your home for the first time and you look
back at your parents who are worried that their son/daughter are
leaving them yet happy that their child took the first step towards
independence.
..... the moment when the girl/boy you like most.. smiled back at you!
You don't say anything.. you just smile back..
..... the moment when you get better marks than you expected... those
"numb" moments of ecstasy n surprise "is that true?"...
..... the moment when you are parting with your old friend(s) and the
train has just started... and you are standing on the door of the
wagon.. waving "bye-bye" with your heart beating fast...
... .. the moment after the HR manager has just called you and told
you,
"You are through! Congrats!"
..... the moment when you sit alone in your room after having told
everyone that you cleared that exam you prepared for 6 months!!
You can go on remembering your "special" moments!
I had always wondered why I never said anything to myself at those
moments.. as if it was "understood"... happiness, joy, pain.. all
feelings just flowed ceaselessly in the 'years' that passed in those
flash moments!
They say.. the best way to communicate is through "silence".
Love. Joy. Grief. Surprise. Anger. Hope. Expectations. Support.
Non-cooperation...
Can you imagine the importance of a silent moment in a song??
When Bryan Adams stops for a while along with music, before he goes
on in his husky voice...
..... Please forgive me. I can't stop loving you!
Ever had those moments when you thought you were tired enough that
you reach for your bed after dinner.. but find yourself wide awake
looking at the roof of your room silently...
But you sure are 'thinking'... those moments of self-talk are the
most important in our lives. Those moments when we listen to our own
hearts! Those promises... those decisions... those are the moments
when we make our destinies!
Next time you go silent... listen carefully to what your heart is
saying.. listen to its joy...listen to its pain.. listen to its
fears.. listen to its desires..
and Be in touch with your true self...
Sunday, November 9, 2008
When you take the time to learn about, understand and tap into your intuition, you will find that your decisions and actions are so much easier to make.
As you go through the decisions that you make in your daily life how much do you rely on your intuition? Do you feel focused and strong in the choices that you make? Or do you feel that you have to deliberate, analyse, weigh out pros and cons, get lots of opinions from friends or family and scare yourself into a decision? Maybe you are one to make a quick decision and then second guess it to the point that you undo what you believed in?
Well you are not alone! We all have had our rounds of confusion and analysis paralysis. The one conclusion is that logic alone does not work. And the answer is to learn how to use a tool that you were actually born with. That tool is your intuition. We hear the words ‘surrender’, ‘trust’ and ‘let go’ all the time. But what does that really mean? And what are we surrendering to? Our logic tells us this is dangerous. So our best attempts to let go last a few minutes and then we are back to trying to figure it all out!
Your intuition is comprised of the energetic senses that you were born with to assist you in staying connected to your higher or inner self. We can refer to that self as a number of names, Divine Guidance, God, The Universe etc. I refer to it as Spirit. But essentially it is all the same thing.
We are always connected to that power greater than our physical selves and that connection is our intuition. I have taught classes on Letting Go and while people have the best of intentions the thing that really holds them back is a lack of trust. That is because we do not understand the mystery of our intuition.
So here are five key points for you to consider that will hopefully help you get a better handle on the most powerful sense that you have.
1. Your intuition is your direct and absolute link to communication with Spirit.
As you go through the decisions that you make in your daily life how much do you rely on your intuition? Do you feel focused and strong in the choices that you make? Or do you feel that you have to deliberate, analyse, weigh out pros and cons, get lots of opinions from friends or family and scare yourself into a decision? Maybe you are one to make a quick decision and then second guess it to the point that you undo what you believed in?
Well you are not alone! We all have had our rounds of confusion and analysis paralysis. The one conclusion is that logic alone does not work. And the answer is to learn how to use a tool that you were actually born with. That tool is your intuition. We hear the words ‘surrender’, ‘trust’ and ‘let go’ all the time. But what does that really mean? And what are we surrendering to? Our logic tells us this is dangerous. So our best attempts to let go last a few minutes and then we are back to trying to figure it all out!
Your intuition is comprised of the energetic senses that you were born with to assist you in staying connected to your higher or inner self. We can refer to that self as a number of names, Divine Guidance, God, The Universe etc. I refer to it as Spirit. But essentially it is all the same thing.
We are always connected to that power greater than our physical selves and that connection is our intuition. I have taught classes on Letting Go and while people have the best of intentions the thing that really holds them back is a lack of trust. That is because we do not understand the mystery of our intuition.
So here are five key points for you to consider that will hopefully help you get a better handle on the most powerful sense that you have.
1. Your intuition is your direct and absolute link to communication with Spirit.
2. Your intuitive senses lay over your physical senses. We get energetic or intuitive feelings through energetic sight (like deja vu), energetic hearing (you hear a small voice that gives you a warning or feels like a hunch to follow), energetic feeling (a gut feeling in your stomach that feels like butterflies or goose bumps) and energetic knowing (feeling like you just know how to do something or how a situation will turn out without learning or cause).
3. Everyone is born with intuition and has the ability to develop it to be strong and reliable.
4. Intuition is always the most efficient and accurate advice that you can get about any issue, concern or desire.
5. Our society encourages us to ignore our intuition and focus strictly on logic. We disengage from our energetic senses and end up feeling very confused, anxious and taking a very long slow road to happiness. Your intuition is always working whether you focus on it or not! When you harness the power of your intuition you are able to fully access your personal power. Not using your intuition is like having eyes and ears and ignoring or fighting their functions. Your eyes and ears are on your head and whether you are concentrating on using them or not they are always working.
They become very powerful tools when you deliberately focus your sight or hearing! Think of how hard it would be to watch a wonderful movie or listen to a beautiful symphony without your ears or eyes! Unwavering trust begins with knowing your intuition and how to use it!
So many people call me for readings and want me to confirm for them that their future outcomes of various hopes or problems will be exactly as i predict. This is so disempowering. Real trust comes from having a direct communication with Spirit yourself through understanding, recognising and knowing how to use and rely on your intuition!
I have done hundreds of intuitive readings for clients and the ones who really do the best after the reading is over are the ones who take responsibility for themselves and use their intuition in combination with their creative problem solving tools like logic to decide what to do next.
When we ignore our intuition we feel anxious, confused and uneasy. We may feel intellectually that it is the right decision but something still doesn't feel certain. So we decide to take lots and lots of action to leave no stone unturned. This creates that going by the seat of your pants or chicken without a head feeling.
When we use our intuition it may seem illogical but our decision feels right. It feels like a sense of knowing or certainty that you may not be able to describe. And your actions feel inspired. You feel led as opposed to running after an outcome. You feel guided to take inspired action and your hunch feels like a knowing instead of a reckless risk.
It’s time to empower yourself by harnessing your own intuition! When you take the time to learn about, understand and tap into your intuition, you will find that your decisions and actions are so much easier to make!
You will live so much more powerfully and efficiently. Your tasks will be done in a fraction of the time because you will be working from certainty instead of fear! You may consider the opinions of others for a perspective but you will know that your intuition has the final say!
Reference:
Mariana Cooper
Saturday, October 25, 2008
You decide for yourself what you want. It is not for others to decide for you. Instead of always listening to others, listen to your own heart.
Have you been true to yourself ? Have you being following your heart, believing in yourself; trusting your very own belief ? Or has this thought never even occurred to you before? Now that you are reading this, give yourself this chance and ask yourself this question. Be true and answer it honestly. It is a very simple question to answer, isn’t it? To answer it, say either ‘yes’ or ‘no’. It’s as simple as that! But very often, things are not that simple for many. You might be one of them.
Living as we do in a modernised, fast-changing, ever-developing time, it is indeed hard for things to be that simple. Every one of us is, in a way, forced to keep up with the pace, brainwashed to just believe in the system. We are taught to believe that in order to survive and to be successful, we have to follow what is laid down for us, follow what everyone else is doing; that we should be doing this and not doing that.
But are you not the one who is supposed to be telling yourself what you should do, rather than being told by others? The sad truth is, many of us unknowingly live our lives, only to be consumed by regret in our later years; when it is too late to do anything. It’s a scary thought, isn’t it?
Now, this is certainly not the way life should be. To begin with, life shouldn't be this stressful. Yes, to constantly learn and to improve ourselves is what we should be doing. But you should not lose your direction, drifting further and further away from the real you.
Are you the real you now? You have to understand this. Right within you there exists two states, your inner self and your outer self. Your inner self is made up of your thoughts and beliefs, your outer self comprises of the actions which support your inner thoughts. To put it simply, your inner self plus your outer self equal to the real you.
To be the real you, your inner self and outer self must complement one another. Remember this. You came into this world with a journey of your own to discover. This life journey is yours and yours alone and nobody else’s. You decide for yourself what you want. It is not for others to decide for you. If you have to please someone, please yourself, not somebody else.
For all that exists in this world, there is always the equal and the opposite side. But though they may be opposing, they are at all times interrelating. This is the natural way of life. When there is day there will be night. When there is a positive there will be a negative. When there are strengths, there will also be weaknesses. The list goes on.
Similarly within you, when you can be happy you can be unhappy too. Surely, happiness is what you seek in life? So, be true to yourself ! It is only when you are true to yourself that you will find happiness. Instead of listening to others to allow them to tell you that you shouldn't do this and that, you tell yourself that you must do this and you must do that! Instead of listening to others, listen to your heart.
What is right and what is wrong? There is never a definite right or wrong. You do what you think is right for yourself. Just picture this scenario. Right from the time that we are children, we have been taught over and over again that it is a sin to lie. Now, let me ask you something. If you can actually save a person’s life by telling a kind lie, would you? Suppose telling a kind lie would result in him being spared and given another chance, while telling the truth would mean that the poor man would lose his life. Now, which is a sin, to tell a lie or to indirectly murder someone? The line between being a saint or a murderer is a thin one.
Similarly, there is a thin line between a happy and unhappy you. Which side of the line do you want to be? To be a truthfully happy person, your actions must complements your thoughts and belief. You have to understand this. Even the slightest decision can affect your life. Sometimes having just a few additional minutes of sleep can make a difference to your day. Those few minutes could decide whether you will have an efficient day or a bad one.
Seek the correct way of life. Be true to yourself and you are bound to find happiness.
Reference:
Jon Sim
Have you been true to yourself ? Have you being following your heart, believing in yourself; trusting your very own belief ? Or has this thought never even occurred to you before? Now that you are reading this, give yourself this chance and ask yourself this question. Be true and answer it honestly. It is a very simple question to answer, isn’t it? To answer it, say either ‘yes’ or ‘no’. It’s as simple as that! But very often, things are not that simple for many. You might be one of them.
Living as we do in a modernised, fast-changing, ever-developing time, it is indeed hard for things to be that simple. Every one of us is, in a way, forced to keep up with the pace, brainwashed to just believe in the system. We are taught to believe that in order to survive and to be successful, we have to follow what is laid down for us, follow what everyone else is doing; that we should be doing this and not doing that.
But are you not the one who is supposed to be telling yourself what you should do, rather than being told by others? The sad truth is, many of us unknowingly live our lives, only to be consumed by regret in our later years; when it is too late to do anything. It’s a scary thought, isn’t it?
Now, this is certainly not the way life should be. To begin with, life shouldn't be this stressful. Yes, to constantly learn and to improve ourselves is what we should be doing. But you should not lose your direction, drifting further and further away from the real you.
Are you the real you now? You have to understand this. Right within you there exists two states, your inner self and your outer self. Your inner self is made up of your thoughts and beliefs, your outer self comprises of the actions which support your inner thoughts. To put it simply, your inner self plus your outer self equal to the real you.
To be the real you, your inner self and outer self must complement one another. Remember this. You came into this world with a journey of your own to discover. This life journey is yours and yours alone and nobody else’s. You decide for yourself what you want. It is not for others to decide for you. If you have to please someone, please yourself, not somebody else.
For all that exists in this world, there is always the equal and the opposite side. But though they may be opposing, they are at all times interrelating. This is the natural way of life. When there is day there will be night. When there is a positive there will be a negative. When there are strengths, there will also be weaknesses. The list goes on.
Similarly within you, when you can be happy you can be unhappy too. Surely, happiness is what you seek in life? So, be true to yourself ! It is only when you are true to yourself that you will find happiness. Instead of listening to others to allow them to tell you that you shouldn't do this and that, you tell yourself that you must do this and you must do that! Instead of listening to others, listen to your heart.
What is right and what is wrong? There is never a definite right or wrong. You do what you think is right for yourself. Just picture this scenario. Right from the time that we are children, we have been taught over and over again that it is a sin to lie. Now, let me ask you something. If you can actually save a person’s life by telling a kind lie, would you? Suppose telling a kind lie would result in him being spared and given another chance, while telling the truth would mean that the poor man would lose his life. Now, which is a sin, to tell a lie or to indirectly murder someone? The line between being a saint or a murderer is a thin one.
Similarly, there is a thin line between a happy and unhappy you. Which side of the line do you want to be? To be a truthfully happy person, your actions must complements your thoughts and belief. You have to understand this. Even the slightest decision can affect your life. Sometimes having just a few additional minutes of sleep can make a difference to your day. Those few minutes could decide whether you will have an efficient day or a bad one.
Seek the correct way of life. Be true to yourself and you are bound to find happiness.
Reference:
Jon Sim
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