Showing posts with label Joy of Living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy of Living. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Most of us never see our dreams come true. Instead of soaring through the clouds, our dreams languish like a broken-down airplane confined to its hangar. Through life, I have come to identify five common reasons why dreams don't take flight.
#1 We Have Been Discouraged from Dreaming by Others
We have to pilot our own dreams; we cannot entrust them to anyone else. People who aren't following their own dreams resent us pursuing ours. Such people feel inadequate when we succeed, so they try to drag us down.
If we listen to external voices, then we allow our dreams to be hijacked. At some point, other people will place limitations on us by doubting our abilities. When surrounded by the turbulence of criticism, we have to grasp the controls tightly to keep from being knocked off course.
#2 We Are Hindered by Past Disappointments and Hurts
In the movie Top Gun, Tom Cruise plays Maverick, a young, talented, and cocky aviator who dreams of being the premier pilot in the U.S. navy. In the film's opening scenes, Maverick showcases his flying ability but also displays a knack for pushing the envelope with regards to safety. Midway through the movie, Maverick's characteristic aggression spells disaster. His plane crashes, killing his best friend and co-pilot.
Although cleared of wrongdoing, the painful memory of the accident haunts Maverick. He quits taking risks and loses his edge. Struggling to regain his poise, he considers giving up on his dream. Although the incident nearly wrecks Maverick's career, he eventually reaches within to find the strength to return to the sky.
Like Maverick, many of us live with the memory of failure embedded in our psyche. Perhaps a business we started went broke, or we were fired from a position of leadership. Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality, and all of us have encountered that gap. Failure is a necessary and natural part of life, but if we're going to attain our dreams, then, like Maverick, we have to summon the courage deal with past hurts.
#3 We Fall into the Habit of Settling for Average
Average is the norm for a reason. Being exceptional demands extra effort, sustained inspiration, and uncommon discipline. When we attempt to give flight to our dreams, we have to overcome the weight of opposition. Like gravity, life's circumstances constantly pull on our dreams, tugging us down to mediocrity.
Most of us don't pay the price to overcome the opposition to our dreams. We may start out inspired, but through time we fatigue. Although never intending to abandon our dreams, we begin to make concessions here and there. Through time, our lives become mundane, and our dreams slip away.
#4 We Lack the Confidence Needed to Pursue Our Dreams
Dreams are fragile. They will be buffeted by assaults from all sides. As such, they must be supplied with the extra strength of self-confidence.
In Amelia Earhart's day, women were not supposed fly airplanes. If she had lacked self-assurance, she never would have even attempted to be a pilot. Instead, Earhart confidently chased after her dream, and she was rewarded with both fulfillment and fame.
#5 We Lack the Imagination to Dream
For thousands of years, mankind traveled along the ground: by foot, by horse-and-buggy, by locomotive, and eventually by automobile. Thanks to the dreams of Orville and Wilbur Wright, we now hop across oceans in a matter of hours. The imaginative brothers overcame ridicule and doubt to pioneer human flight, and the world has never been the same.
Many of us play small because we do not allow ourselves to dream. We trap ourselves in reality and never dare to go beyond what we can see with our eyes. Imagination lifts us beyond average by giving us a vision of life that surpasses what we are experiencing currently. Dreams infuse our spirit with energy and spur us on to greatness.
Dreams
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never." ~ Søren Kierkegaard
"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe."
~ Gail Devers
"I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
~ Henry David Thoreau
Reference:
Dr. John C. Maxwell
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Looking Beyond Materialism
Recently I had someone ask me whether there is any greater meaning in this world beyond just making money and living the high life. She said it seems the whole culture is just obsessed with becoming rich. And nobody really cares what we're here for or whether there is meaning in this existence.
Here's a little event that set me thinking: While I was in Borders bookstore, an old man sat down beside me and began to talk. He had kind eyes – a very dignified old man. Looking at him, I recognized a friend, even though we had never met. Norman shares with me some of his life experiences and I began to understand how a man of his age might see the world. Then I ask, "Norman, do you think that… at your age, you have achieved your purpose in life?"
"Well," he replies. "My life is in God's hands… I go where he takes me. But I can tell you this: The world today is too materialistic… no good… no good at all." Then he goes silent, as if in some sort of deep thought. His words echo in my mind. This is from someone who has lived seven decades more than I. So it really makes me wonder what we should value in life and where we should channel our energies.
Out of the entire world's population, most of us will never live the high life. That is reserved for the top 1% of rich and wealthy – about 60 million people. Let's not forget that the world has approximately 6 billion people, so there are another 5.9 billion who form our middle and lower class. Economists have discovered a problem: The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer, creating greater disparity between the haves and have-nots. World Bank reports show that many people do not have enough money to ensure a comfortable retirement, and that there is not enough funds stored in pension plans to cater for the aging baby-boomers.
In China, social trends like aging population, longer lifespan, and the one-child policy, predict disaster: Soon China will have less and less adults supporting more and more old people. Everyone will be clamouring to earn as much money as they can to pay for hospitals, day care, medication, treatments and more. The population is desperate to build wealth. The frustration is incredible – on one hand, they want to live the good life; on the other, their financial responsibilities are heavy, so they are denied the ideal lifestyle. This trend exists not only in China, but many first world countries with aging populations. So perhaps now it makes sense why everyone is obsessed with becoming rich.
So it looks like most of us will never get to see the yacht and mansion lifestyle of the rich and famous. However, I have an alternative view of life. When you look through the world through this point of view, you will never frustrate yourself about not making enough money. You will earn your money in a stress-free manner, which allows you to enjoy your life before it's over.
The truth is like this: Like infants who suckle on mothers' breasts, we expect Mother Earth to make us content; we expect God to fulfil our needs; we expect the world to be as we want it. When we awaken to the harsh reality of 'earning a living' and 'working to survive', then we see money as our only buffer against the pain of poverty – the key to having all that we want, the way to the luxuries and experiences which will bring us joy and contentment.
Without enough money, it feels like we are being denied all the nourishment and joy which was promised. So like mad dogs we enter the rat race, studying for 16 years then rushing out to the working world where we spend another 40 years climbing the corporate ladder, while raising a family at the same time. The whole world does this – every single person fortunate enough to go to school. So can you imagine every single human wanting to make money and hump each other's brains out? The futility of it!
The fundamental problem comes from doing things for the wrong reasons. Most people do not understand their inner desires. That which drives us to do what we do, is mostly animal instinct. The instinct to procreate, the drive to earn as much as we can – for example: to prove I'm a capable man worthy of procreating with. "Look, I can protect the children. Look, I can bring home the bacon. Look, I'm a sexy guy – I work out – good in bed!" So with this survival, mating, or animal instinct creating desire within us, we tell ourselves, "I must be rich! I must be good-looking! I must be better then them!" And all these 'musts' cause us much frustration, especially when we don't have deeper reasons for why we 'must be' something.
I don't mean that we should give up trying to self-actualize or become who we are meant to be… what I mean is that we should do it for the right reasons. Go beyond your survival and mating instinct and find real reasons for doing what you do. If you want to become rich, don't just do it to attract the opposite sex or because you like shopping, do it because you want to contribute to society in a great way; for the security of your family, or because you want to experience the world and money is the ticket. Know your reasons because they are the true driving force of our achievements. If you just do things out of sex or pleasure drive, soon you'll run out of steam because as you get older, procreating isn't important anymore. Look beyond pleasure and materialism.
In the material world, everything is death-bound, meaning that it will come to an end. Stars like Marilyn Monroe and Elvis died at the peak of their careers. They had everything – money, good looks, great career, fantastic house, boyfriends, and girlfriends – but in the end, it is all death-bound.
If you want true inner peace, then practice non-attachment. Realize that there is nothing you really have to do in this lifetime, only that which you want to. All the material objects and concerns that we chase are illusions which keep you trapped in a never-ending struggle and pursuit for more.
If you can understand that material luxuries and pleasures are all death-bound, then you can approach life in a different way. No longer will you sacrifice your life to chase the almighty dollar, but stop and consider what's your purpose and mission on Earth. For if everyone that's born on this planet just needs to earn enough money and hump each other's brains out, then that is a mundane existence indeed. There is something special for you to do in this world, in this lifetime. But it's not for me to tell… even if I tried, I can only suggest what it might be. Ultimately, you have to discover it for yourself.
So to answer the question set out at the beginning of this article: there is nothing wrong with wanting to make money, it's necessary for survival. However, it's important to look at what you're contributing your life towards. When you are old, like Norman, can you look back on all you've done and appreciate the contribution you've made? Beyond just making money and raising a family, can you say, "I've achieved my life's purpose"?
In a conversation with a friend yesterday, he asked a good question. He said, "What constitutes a life purpose?" I said, "Contribution – something you give to society or the world. Something you love. Something you are willing to suffer for. Something you will do even if no one pays you. That's a life purpose."
Reference:
December 9th, 2007 by Lance Ong
Recently I had someone ask me whether there is any greater meaning in this world beyond just making money and living the high life. She said it seems the whole culture is just obsessed with becoming rich. And nobody really cares what we're here for or whether there is meaning in this existence.
Here's a little event that set me thinking: While I was in Borders bookstore, an old man sat down beside me and began to talk. He had kind eyes – a very dignified old man. Looking at him, I recognized a friend, even though we had never met. Norman shares with me some of his life experiences and I began to understand how a man of his age might see the world. Then I ask, "Norman, do you think that… at your age, you have achieved your purpose in life?"
"Well," he replies. "My life is in God's hands… I go where he takes me. But I can tell you this: The world today is too materialistic… no good… no good at all." Then he goes silent, as if in some sort of deep thought. His words echo in my mind. This is from someone who has lived seven decades more than I. So it really makes me wonder what we should value in life and where we should channel our energies.
Out of the entire world's population, most of us will never live the high life. That is reserved for the top 1% of rich and wealthy – about 60 million people. Let's not forget that the world has approximately 6 billion people, so there are another 5.9 billion who form our middle and lower class. Economists have discovered a problem: The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer, creating greater disparity between the haves and have-nots. World Bank reports show that many people do not have enough money to ensure a comfortable retirement, and that there is not enough funds stored in pension plans to cater for the aging baby-boomers.
In China, social trends like aging population, longer lifespan, and the one-child policy, predict disaster: Soon China will have less and less adults supporting more and more old people. Everyone will be clamouring to earn as much money as they can to pay for hospitals, day care, medication, treatments and more. The population is desperate to build wealth. The frustration is incredible – on one hand, they want to live the good life; on the other, their financial responsibilities are heavy, so they are denied the ideal lifestyle. This trend exists not only in China, but many first world countries with aging populations. So perhaps now it makes sense why everyone is obsessed with becoming rich.
So it looks like most of us will never get to see the yacht and mansion lifestyle of the rich and famous. However, I have an alternative view of life. When you look through the world through this point of view, you will never frustrate yourself about not making enough money. You will earn your money in a stress-free manner, which allows you to enjoy your life before it's over.
The truth is like this: Like infants who suckle on mothers' breasts, we expect Mother Earth to make us content; we expect God to fulfil our needs; we expect the world to be as we want it. When we awaken to the harsh reality of 'earning a living' and 'working to survive', then we see money as our only buffer against the pain of poverty – the key to having all that we want, the way to the luxuries and experiences which will bring us joy and contentment.
Without enough money, it feels like we are being denied all the nourishment and joy which was promised. So like mad dogs we enter the rat race, studying for 16 years then rushing out to the working world where we spend another 40 years climbing the corporate ladder, while raising a family at the same time. The whole world does this – every single person fortunate enough to go to school. So can you imagine every single human wanting to make money and hump each other's brains out? The futility of it!
The fundamental problem comes from doing things for the wrong reasons. Most people do not understand their inner desires. That which drives us to do what we do, is mostly animal instinct. The instinct to procreate, the drive to earn as much as we can – for example: to prove I'm a capable man worthy of procreating with. "Look, I can protect the children. Look, I can bring home the bacon. Look, I'm a sexy guy – I work out – good in bed!" So with this survival, mating, or animal instinct creating desire within us, we tell ourselves, "I must be rich! I must be good-looking! I must be better then them!" And all these 'musts' cause us much frustration, especially when we don't have deeper reasons for why we 'must be' something.
I don't mean that we should give up trying to self-actualize or become who we are meant to be… what I mean is that we should do it for the right reasons. Go beyond your survival and mating instinct and find real reasons for doing what you do. If you want to become rich, don't just do it to attract the opposite sex or because you like shopping, do it because you want to contribute to society in a great way; for the security of your family, or because you want to experience the world and money is the ticket. Know your reasons because they are the true driving force of our achievements. If you just do things out of sex or pleasure drive, soon you'll run out of steam because as you get older, procreating isn't important anymore. Look beyond pleasure and materialism.
In the material world, everything is death-bound, meaning that it will come to an end. Stars like Marilyn Monroe and Elvis died at the peak of their careers. They had everything – money, good looks, great career, fantastic house, boyfriends, and girlfriends – but in the end, it is all death-bound.
If you want true inner peace, then practice non-attachment. Realize that there is nothing you really have to do in this lifetime, only that which you want to. All the material objects and concerns that we chase are illusions which keep you trapped in a never-ending struggle and pursuit for more.
If you can understand that material luxuries and pleasures are all death-bound, then you can approach life in a different way. No longer will you sacrifice your life to chase the almighty dollar, but stop and consider what's your purpose and mission on Earth. For if everyone that's born on this planet just needs to earn enough money and hump each other's brains out, then that is a mundane existence indeed. There is something special for you to do in this world, in this lifetime. But it's not for me to tell… even if I tried, I can only suggest what it might be. Ultimately, you have to discover it for yourself.
So to answer the question set out at the beginning of this article: there is nothing wrong with wanting to make money, it's necessary for survival. However, it's important to look at what you're contributing your life towards. When you are old, like Norman, can you look back on all you've done and appreciate the contribution you've made? Beyond just making money and raising a family, can you say, "I've achieved my life's purpose"?
In a conversation with a friend yesterday, he asked a good question. He said, "What constitutes a life purpose?" I said, "Contribution – something you give to society or the world. Something you love. Something you are willing to suffer for. Something you will do even if no one pays you. That's a life purpose."
Reference:
December 9th, 2007 by Lance Ong
Thursday, October 30, 2008
A LOVELY MESSAGE.
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?
ANSWER:
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior.
The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother.
Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you
think.
MORAL OF THE STORY
This story is really worth reading. ..... Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out something called LIFE.
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?
ANSWER:
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior.
The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother.
Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you
think.
MORAL OF THE STORY
This story is really worth reading. ..... Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out something called LIFE.
Friday, October 10, 2008
A beautiful Story :
There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.
The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"
Moral :
Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives
A. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
B. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
C. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.
The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"
Moral :
Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives
A. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
B. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
C. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
D. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and then his old pickup truck refused to start.
While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward, he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"The funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
Everybody needs a trouble tree...
Yesterday my young friend in early 30s had a heart attack. It is not the stress and pressure that kills us. It is how we chose to react it to the stress and pressure. Our families and spl. innocent children are our safety valves.
No amount of money, perks or power can compensate or value their happiness and smiles.
While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward, he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"The funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
Everybody needs a trouble tree...
Yesterday my young friend in early 30s had a heart attack. It is not the stress and pressure that kills us. It is how we chose to react it to the stress and pressure. Our families and spl. innocent children are our safety valves.
No amount of money, perks or power can compensate or value their happiness and smiles.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and then his old pickup truck refused to start.
While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward, he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"The funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
Everybody needs a trouble tree...
Yesterday my young friend in early 30s had a heart attack. It is not the stress and pressure that kills us. It is how we chose to react it to the stress and pressure. Our families and spl. innocent children are our safety valves.
No amount of money, perks or power can compensate or value their happiness and smiles.
While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward, he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"The funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
Everybody needs a trouble tree...
Yesterday my young friend in early 30s had a heart attack. It is not the stress and pressure that kills us. It is how we chose to react it to the stress and pressure. Our families and spl. innocent children are our safety valves.
No amount of money, perks or power can compensate or value their happiness and smiles.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Fear factor
A young lady stood still. Well… as still as she could. Her whole body seemed to be shaking, especially her legs and knees. Her forearms were cramping, and she seemed to be squeezing the perspiration out of the Tightrope instructor's big hands as he stood behind her.
She could feel his presence behind her, and continually tested the security of his grip - just to make sure. They were standing on a platform with the tightrope in front of it. There was little comfort in the fact that she was blindfolded, and that she couldn't see how high she was from the ground. Her sight had been covered since she entered the arena, and she struggled to figure out how she got up there.
A young lady stood still. Well… as still as she could. Her whole body seemed to be shaking, especially her legs and knees. Her forearms were cramping, and she seemed to be squeezing the perspiration out of the Tightrope instructor's big hands as he stood behind her.
She could feel his presence behind her, and continually tested the security of his grip - just to make sure. They were standing on a platform with the tightrope in front of it. There was little comfort in the fact that she was blindfolded, and that she couldn't see how high she was from the ground. Her sight had been covered since she entered the arena, and she struggled to figure out how she got up there.
"Am I crazy?" she thought.
"Am I out of my mind to be trying to do this? What could I possibly learn from facing this fear?"
"I can't do this…" she whispered.
"Yes, you can." came the baritone voice behind her.
"Now slide your other foot up and place it in front of the other."
She did as she was told. Every fibre of her being wanted to turn around and grab onto the instructor. He sensed this in her body language and reassured her once more. "Don't worry, I'm here."
She was now on the wire! The only things separating her from certain death, were those two palms. Only her tiny fingertips prevented her from plummeting fatally towards the ground.
The instructor told her, "Now, another step."
And so it continued, step by step. It never got easier. This went on for an eternity until she was shocked to hear him say,
"Okay, stand still."
The perspiration was pouring off her now. She could feel it running down her back like tiny streams.
"Take off your blindfold." came the next instruction.
"I can't…" she whispered.
"I'll fall."
"No you won't, I'm here."
Her mind raced. How was her going to stop them from falling, after all they were standing on a tightrope!
The young lady's fingertips seemed cemented to those palms.
"You have to remove your fingers from my hands to take off the blindfold. Don't rush…"
Slowly she lifted the heavy finger tips from his palms and gingerly brought her hands up behind her head. Her fingers couldn't move! Finally she managed to pry the bond apart. As it fell away, the brightness of the light almost blinded her, and she wobbled - grasping for those hands. Sure enough they were there. The woman's eyes adjusted and focussed. What she saw wanted to make her cry and scream with relief, anger, humiliation, and joy.
There she was - three feet from the ground! On her left was someone ready to catch her if she fell that way. There was someone on her right side too. Then there was those familiar hands, reaching from behind her, holding her hands. She continued to stand still on the wire.
"I…I…don't understand!" she croaked, as the tears ran down her cheeks.
The instructor answered;
"You thought your greatest fear was of heights. Today you discovered that your greatest fear is to be alone."
"What you have learned is that, no matter how frightening the challenge is before you, you will conquer it with someone by your side."
"Also, your fears are often not grounded in fact, but more assumption and deceit. You thought you were high off the ground, but you weren't. Your fear was in fact unfounded.
You were blindfolded and your intellect and circumstance lied to you. They told you that you would fall." he continued,
"Your faith, and trust was in me not to let you fall. Not only that, although you were only three feet from the ground, I made sure that there was someone to catch you should you stumble and fall."
Monday, August 25, 2008
This is a letter written by Abraham Lincoln to the Headmaster of a school in which his son was studying.
A WORD TO TEACHERS
"He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just and are not true.
But teach him if you can, the wonder of books.. but also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hillside.
In school, teach him it is far more honorable to fall than to cheat.....
Teach to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him he is wrong.
Teach him to be gentle with gentlepeople and tough with the tough.
Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone getting on the bandwagon...
Teach him to listen to all men; but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth, and take only the good that comes through.
Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad... Teach him there is no shame in tears.
Teach him to scoff at cynics and to be beware of too much sweetness.. Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to highest bidders, but never to put a price on his heart and soul.
Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob.. and stand and fight if thinks he is right.
Treat him gently, but do not cuddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel.
Let him have the courage to be impatient.. Let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will have faith in humankind.
This is a big order, but see what you can do. . He is such a fine little fellow my son!
- Abraham Lincoln"
This letter never seems to age. It is all about Behaviours and Attitudes that is so vital for the teachers and trainers as they deal with their students and participants alike irrespective of the subjects they teach or the topics they train them in.
It is time we make that commitment to ourselves to learn to understand the science of human behaviour that is so very key in enabling and harnessing the true potential of people be they children or adults.
"He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just and are not true.
But teach him if you can, the wonder of books.. but also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hillside.
In school, teach him it is far more honorable to fall than to cheat.....
Teach to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him he is wrong.
Teach him to be gentle with gentlepeople and tough with the tough.
Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone getting on the bandwagon...
Teach him to listen to all men; but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth, and take only the good that comes through.
Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad... Teach him there is no shame in tears.
Teach him to scoff at cynics and to be beware of too much sweetness.. Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to highest bidders, but never to put a price on his heart and soul.
Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob.. and stand and fight if thinks he is right.
Treat him gently, but do not cuddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel.
Let him have the courage to be impatient.. Let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will have faith in humankind.
This is a big order, but see what you can do. . He is such a fine little fellow my son!
- Abraham Lincoln"
This letter never seems to age. It is all about Behaviours and Attitudes that is so vital for the teachers and trainers as they deal with their students and participants alike irrespective of the subjects they teach or the topics they train them in.
It is time we make that commitment to ourselves to learn to understand the science of human behaviour that is so very key in enabling and harnessing the true potential of people be they children or adults.
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