Tuesday, December 30, 2008

1. Make a list of things that make you happy. Focusing on what makes us happy has a way of, well… making us happy!

2. Keep things in perspective.

3. Imagine yourself smiling. Smiling sends an internal message that all is well.

4. Be here now! Take small steps. If, for example, your mood may brighten just by stepping outside routine, and reaching for a small spontaneous moment. Here’s a hint: Start small. Watch puppies, kittens and small children. Watch…and learn.

5. Release anger, envy & resentment! This are self-destructive.

6. Forgive! Forgiveness is something we do as much for our own healing as for that of the other.

7. Let go and laugh.

8. Write Thank You notes! Keep a journal of all the people and things you are thankful for. This is especially helpful on rough days.

9. Avoid depression triggers.

10. Shake that body! Exercise is a great way to avoid or alleviate depressive symptoms.

Stay Happy.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Your Guide to Longevity.

Turning off your television will gain you, on average, about 4 hours per day. Imagine if you took that time to exercise, give your brain a workout and develop strong relationships. Not only would you be adding years to your life, you would become more interesting, energetic, and fun. So take the plunge and try not watching TV for a week. At first it will be strange and awkward, but stick with it and soon you will love all the extra time.

1. Television Eats Your Time

The average U.S. adult watches more than 4 hours of television a day. That's 25 percent of waking time spent every day. Imagine if you suddenly had 25 percent more time -- that's three extra months per year! You could get in all your exercise, cook your meals from scratch and still have time left over to write a novel.

Over a lifetime, an 80-year-old person would have watched 116,800 hours of television, compared to only 98,000 hours of work. As a nation, adults watch 880 million hours of television every day or 321 billion hours per year. Whew! Imagine what could get done if we all just stopped watching TV.

2. Television Makes You Stressed

With the average of four hours a day gone, it's no wonder everyone is feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. We put aside paying bills, finishing projects, making phone calls and cleaning our homes to watch TV. We feel overwhelmed because of all the things we should be doing (exercising, spending time with family, eating right) go undone.
And when we feel overwhelmed, tired, and exhausted we don't have energy to anything but -- you guessed it -- watch TV. It is a dreadful cycle. So take a break from TV for a week and see what happens to your life.

3. Television Makes You Overweight

Eating while distracted limits your ability to assess how much you have consumed. According to Eliot Blass at the University of Massachusetts, people eat between 31 and 74 percent more calories while watching TV.

This could add, on average, about 300 calories extra per TV meal. Now consider that at least 40 percent of families watch TV while eating dinner. It becomes clear that TV is a big part of the obesity epidemic in the U.S. and that TV, in fact, makes you gain weight.

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4. Television Makes You Uninteresting

Many people have whole conversations that are recaps of TV programs, sporting events and sitcoms. When asked about their real lives, there is little or nothing to report and no stories to tell (except the TV shows they have watched).
Life is too interesting and wonderful to spend your time either watching TV or recapping television to your friends. Find something interesting to do: volunteer, read, paint -- anything but watch more TV.

5. Television Ruins Your Relationships

A television is turned on an average of 7 hours and 40 minutes per day in many U.S. households. With the TV on that much, there is little time for you and your significant other or children to spend time together, share experiences, and develop deeper relationships.
Sitting together and watching TV does not grow a relationship. Turn that TV off and find something to do together -- cooking, exercising, taking a walk, anything.

6. Television is Not Relaxation

TV is the opposite of exercise. If you are watching TV you are usually sitting, reclining or lying down. You are burning as few calories as possible. All that extra food you eat while watching TV does not get burned off. Your brain goes into a lull.
But you are not relaxing -- your mind is still receiving stimuli from the TV, you are processing information and reacting emotionally. Have you ever found yourself thinking about TV characters? Do you ever dream about TV shows? These are signs that the brain is working hard to process all the TV you have been watching.

7. Television Loses Opportunities

If you are sitting and watching TV, nothing new or exciting is going to happen to you. New opportunities and ideas come from being out in the world, talking to people, and reading interesting things.
Watching TV isolates you. Nothing is going to change in your world if you are watching TV. Turn off the TV, go out into the world, talk to people, and see what happens.

8. Television is Addictive

Television can become addictive. Signs of TV addiction include:
using the TV to calm down
not being able to control your viewing
feeling angry or disappointed in how much TV you watched
feeling on edge if kept from watching
feeling a loss of control while watching
If the idea of giving up TV for a week is horrifying, you may be addicted to television. Luckily, TV addiction is a habit and not a physical addiction like smoking. You should be able to control it once you are aware of the problem and make a decision to change.

9. Television Makes You Buy Things

By age 65, the average American has seen 2 million commercials. Your knowledge of products and brands comes from these TV commercials. Your perception of what you need also comes from these commercials.
If you didn't know that your iPod could talk to your running shoes, you wouldn't feel like your current shoes are too low-tech. If you didn't know about vacuums that never lose suction, your current vacuum would seem fine. Our perception of need is determined by what we see. Need less by watching less TV.

10. Television Costs Money

A basic cable package costs $43 per month and many packages cost much more than that. That comes to at least $500 a year spent on TV. For that much money you could: buy a membership to every museum or zoo in your town, get a gym membership, buy a nice bicycle, invest it every year for 10 years at 10 percent interest and have more than $10,000.

Mark Stibich, Ph.D.,
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by our Medical Review Board

Saturday, December 20, 2008



One day a woman was walking down the street when she spied a beggar sitting on the corner. The man was elderly, unshaven, and ragged. As he sat there, pedestrians walked by him giving him dirty looks they clearly wanted nothing to do with him because of who he was - a dirty, homeless man. However, when she saw him, the woman was moved to compassion.

It was very cold that day and the man had his tattered coat - more like an old suit coat rather than a warm coat - wrapped around him. She stopped and looked down. "Sir?" She asked. "Are you all right?"

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like that she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, as so many others had done before. "Leave me alone," he growled.

To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling - her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. "Are you hungry?" She asked.

"No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away."

The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. "What are you doing, lady?" The man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone."

Just then, a police officer came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" He asked.

"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?"

The officer scratched his head. "That's old jack. He has been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"

"See that cafeteria over there?" She asked. "I am going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."

"Are you crazy, lady?" The homeless man resisted. "I do not want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. "Let me go, officer. I did not do anything."

"This is a good deal for you, jack," the officer answered. "Do not blow it."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by the table. "What is going on here, officer?" He asked. "What is all this. Is this man in trouble?"

"This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the police officer answered.

"Not in here!" The manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."

Old jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you will let me go. I did not want to come here in the first place."

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. "Sir, are you familiar with eddy and associates, the banking firm down the street?"

"Of course i am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."

"And do you make a good profit from providing food at the weekly meetings?"

"What business is that of yours?"

"I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the Company."


The woman smiled again. "I thought that might make a difference." She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"

"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I am on duty."

"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"

"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice."

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. "I will get your coffee for you right away, officer."

The officer watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in his place," he said.

"That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this." She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently. "Jack, do you remember me?"

Old jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes "I think so; I mean you do look familiar."

"I am a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I have even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."

"Ma'am?" The officer said questioningly. He could not believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I could not find anything. Finally, I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that i could get something to eat."

Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."

"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register. I knew then that everything would be all right."

"So you started your own business?" Old jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually, I started my own business that, with the help of god, prospered."

She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He is the Personnel Director of my Company. I will go talk to him now and I am certain he will find something for you to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet and if you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you," he said.

"Do not thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory. Thank God. He led me to you."

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. "Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.

"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And thank you for the coffee."

She frowned. "I forgot to ask you whether you used cream or sugar. That is black."

The officer looked at the steaming cup of coffee in his hand. "Yes, I do take cream and sugar - perhaps more sugar than is good for me." He patted his ample stomach.

"I am sorry," she said.

"I do not need it now," he replied smiling. "I have got the feeling that this coffee you bought me is going to taste as sweet as sugar."

Monday, December 15, 2008

Once a boy went to a shop with his mother.

The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets and said 'Dear Child...you can take some of these sweets...

but the child didnt take them. The shop keeper was surprised, such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. Again he said take the sweets... this time the mother also heard that and said... beta take the sweets.

Yet he still didnt take any...

The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets... he himself took the sweets and gave to them to the child... the child was happy to get two hands full of sweets.

When they returned back home, Mother asked the child... Why didnt you take the sweets... when shop keeper told you to take...

Can you guess the response:-

Child replies... Mom! my hands are very small and if i take the sweets I can only take a few.. but now you see when the kind shop keeper gave with his big hands...
how many more sweets i got!

When we take we may get little but when God gives...HE gives us more, beyond our expectations.... more than what we can hold..........

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Joy of Living

One of the major complaints I've heard about being alive is the pain of loneliness. In this day and age, many people live isolated lives of quiet desperation. They go to work in the morning, come back in the evening, heat up a microwave dinner, switch on the TV, stone for two hours, drink some alcohol, maybe surf the Internet, then fall asleep. In the past, it was not easy for a person to lead an isolated lifestyle. Everything we needed to survive had to come through interaction with other people. For example, buying bread from the baker, meat from the butcher… in the past, there were no huge supermarkets where you could do all your grocery shopping in silence; quietly comparing prices by yourself. You had to talk to different people to get what you need. This might be a lame example but its rather obvious that the increase in convenience also increases our separation from others. Do any of you talk to the guy at the checkout counter? You could complete the entire transaction in silence if you wanted to. Just nod your head, pay your money and go. In the past, there were also no fancy computer games, no Xbox, PlayStation, or the Internet to feed your entertainment needs. If you wanted fun, you'd have to play a game with others. Whether it's a table game like Chess or Scrabble, or a physically active one like the Kampong (village) game, chaptek, where players do kicking stunts with a flat rubber shuttlecock. When you were young in school, I'm sure you played many such games with your friends during recess period or after school. But as we age, many of us lose touch of this precious joy that comes from group games and sport. It's just all about work, money, and survival.

There are good reasons why you should shut off your TV and gather your friends for a game or two. The church of Christ understands this principle well. They call it fellowship. Cell group leaders will take the effort to organize group activities, outings, games, discussions, pot luck dinners and more. Friends can bring new friends — the more the merrier. In my opinion, they are doing a great job of helping people experience the joy of being together. This is a condition you should try to create in your life. Whether you want to join a fellowship organization, a special interest group, a book club, a school alumni, or simply call up old friends, every one of us needs to work at reconnecting ourselves with others. Especially when you live in a world designed to convenience you into separation and isolation.

You see, you don't need a lot of money to be happy. Many people think they can only be happy with the lifestyle of the rich and famous. They want to jet-set around the world, have non-stop sex with a harem of harlots, swim in the opulent blue pools of Miami and such. Now as fantastic as that sounds, there are many rich people who are experiencing loneliness in life. They think everyone around them is just there for their money and nobody really loves them for who they are. The old saying is, 'it gets lonely at the top'. And these people at the top of the pyramid are experiencing their disconnection from the rest of the world. So you see, the problem is the same. What they lack and what we lack, is love. And money can't buy love. It takes an investment of your time, energy, and emotions, to build up fruitful relationships.

If you consider that every one of us is a soul animating a physical body, then on a spiritual level, we are all connected because all spirit emanates from the same source — God. (When I speak of God, I mean so in the universal sense as a higher power and not biased to a particular religious order.) As 'children' of God, we are here to explore and express the beauty of life. Thus the magic is hidden in our interaction. Spending time to know others can help you learn more about yourself. That is the higher purpose of the Big Bang — why God split himself up into the infinite number of stars and souls which inhabit this universe — to know thyself; to know himself. Because even for God, infinity is a lonely place to be if He's by himself. So He opened himself up to the Universe within, which is why there is you and me, and we are all part of something greater, part of a whole, and we must not be afraid to explore ourselves; explore each other. And this is done not in isolation, but by getting out there and interacting with others. For such is the purpose we are created. To explore and experience everything, including the gamut of human emotions — the good and bad, right and wrong, the seven sins and the ten commandments — we go through it all. So some people ask why does God allow people to suffer? Why are there 3 billion people living on less than $2 a day? This is not God's fault… this our fault. Too many people only think of taking, keeping, getting more, and hoarding in order to create the opulent, luxurious lifestyle they think will give them unlimited pleasure. So in a country where we gorge ourselves on burgers, porn, pizza, spa massage, horror movies, celebrity gossip, computer gadgets and more, there are people who scrape rotting meat off leftover fish bones from the factory to fry and eat as a daily meal. This is not a problem for God to fix because He is an observer. If the social condition bothers us, then we should find it in our hearts to reverse our Taking mindset and focus on how we can give to others. Now some people say, "What if I give and give and nobody gives back?" I say, this is a good excuse people give themselves for being greedy; an excuse to relieve themselves of the guilt of wanting to take but not to share. Such a person is driven by a pleasure-seeking mindset and has not learnt the joy of helping others. Their ego is screaming, "I, Me, Mine! I Want, I Have, My Precioussss… ."

When you play games with others, you learn the importance of sharing and taking turns; offering others encouragement, complimenting their efforts; building camaraderie and deeper bonds. You learn about the joy of giving to others, the joy of competition, and the joy of fellowship that money can't buy. Everything we enjoy — food, sex, money, fun, friendship, social approval, and more — comes from other people. Loneliness and boredom happens when we isolate ourselves; thinking that this is the norm when it is actually an abnormality of the human condition. So now is the time to experience joie de vivre (joy of life) by reaching out and connecting with others. Rid yourself of those old isolation policies and start trading with other people. You'll find that the magic of living is found in connecting your heart to others around you. Touch the spirit in every person.

February 10th, 2008 by Lance Ong

Friday, December 5, 2008

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You (The Golden Rule)

Do you notice if you smile at someone, most likely they will smile back at you? If you pat someone on the back to as if to say 'hey buddy', you will get many pats on your back too? This is a reciprocal world. You get what you give out. And as they say… Love begets Love, Hate begets Hate. So if you want the world to treat you better, treat it better first. Say more thank yous, more good mornings, pardon me(s), and I'm sorrys. Pay back what you owe, open more doors for others, and help more old people cross the street. More importantly, always be polite, never hurt others, and always tell the truth. These are basic principles that never go out of style.

You can avoid much disaster by following the Golden Rule. I remember one night, I was sitting at an outdoor McDonald's in Singapore's Orchard Road. When I hear the smack of a tray hitting the ground. Six metres away, two large-sized Caucasian men, corner a shorter, stout Hawaiian man. All three men are in their late 20's. It seems like they failed to give way to one another at the door, so they bumped and the tray fell. I hear some insults, and they start to push each other. I count the pushes, 1.. 2.. 3.. and then they had a scuffle. Somehow, the Hawaiian man manages to grab hold of one Caucasian man's neck, and swing him head first into the marble edge of the building! His forehead splits open, and the gash starts spurting blood. The other Caucasian man says, "Stop! Stop! Why are you trying to kill us, man?"

I can't believe all this started over failing to give way at the door, and not apologizing for the mistake. Instead, they chose to push and intimidate each other into a fight. So you see, whatever you give out, will come back to you, ten times stronger. "You push me, I'll push you harder. You punch me, I'll knock you out." These men let their egos get in the way of a peaceful resolution. They could have simply apologized and offered to pay for each other's meal.

As you know, this is not a rare case. Often, just staring at someone can start a fight. Or pushing someone out of a queue. Or snatching someone else's parking space. Or tailgating. Or flashing your car's high beam out of irritation. It's sad when we let our anger get the better of us. As they say in Buddhist philosophy, anger is a form of hell. So is greed, envy, lust, and hate. All poison the heart and mind. Disrupting the inner peace that would make your life wonderful. So before you take an action you might regret, ask yourself, "Is this what I would like to bring into my life?" The moment you perform that action, you are giving permission for the Universe to take the effect, multiply it by ten, and return it to you.

December 12th, 2007 by Lance Ong

Monday, December 1, 2008

Mental Stress Release Technique

There may be moments in life which are hard for you. Heavy responsibility and multiple pressures from the outside make it difficult to cope. The high tension puts us in panic mode and we become frustrated as we scramble in a haphazard attempt to do our job. Prolonged stress response seriously damages your health. Your hair falls out, you might go bald; you become old and haggard-looking; your perfect California body becomes a sack of potatoes. How sad is that? To age not because we partied ourselves to death, but because we worried ourselves to the grave. Mental stress is an enemy you have to learn to defeat.

Stress Release Technique: Disassociation

Before you attempt this technique, spend a few minutes to quiet your mind. You can do this by sitting in a relaxed position with your arms on your lap or by your side. Close your eyes and begin breathing slowly through your nostrils. Focus your attention on the breath. Anything else that comes to mind, let it go and bring your attention back to the breath. You will find that as you continue this process for a few minutes your breathing becomes shallower and shallower, the thoughts entering your mind slow down, and you feel calmer with more peace in your heart. Now you are ready to use the following technique:

All you have to do is imagine you have died. When a person dies, there are no more worries and responsibilities to handle. The soul is free to travel to heaven and continue into its next life. Now I'm not asking you to die… just imagine it. See your body lying there lifeless while you feel your soul floating upwards to connect with the heavens.
See all the memories of your life drop way down below you. From this higher viewpoint, you can see all the events of your life which have shaped you. Your past, present, and future form one continuous line of memories below you.

Float even higher and you can connect with the Spirit of God and gain wisdom by looking at your life situation through 'Heavenly Eyes'. Capture this feeling of inner peace and remember the insight gained.

Bring it back into your body by gradually floating down through the galaxy, stars, and clouds, into your city, your home, and back to your body.

Our whole life is designed to help us grow to develop spiritual qualities. Naturally, we will face situations which test our patience, endurance, and willpower. A person cannot stop these challenging life situations from occurring… we have no control over that. But what we can control is our own emotional state (our feelings). Many people allow themselves to be swung about by the rollercoaster of life. But some people are able to ride that rollercoaster and feel calm on the inside because they realize that the events we experience are the situations which God, Buddha, or the Universe wants us to face in order to help us grow and gain enlightenment. In every adversity lies the seed of Satori [Zen Buddhism: a state of sudden spiritual enlightenment].

The key is not to REACT immediately when you face a challenge, but to first calm down and find your centre from which you can respond with clarity and confidence. Like was said earlier, when a person becomes frustrated, we tend to do things in a haphazard manner. That is called Reacting. When you realize you have a choice over how you wish to feel, you are instead Responding from a powerful position of calm control. Whether it's your egotistic colleague or the ton of assignments blocking your way, keep a cool head when facing your opponent. Watch their movement and think calmly how you will respond to defeat them. Sure, they will try their best to scare you with their psychological tactics and throw you off your feet. And yes, you might fall. But a Master is one who stands up again and again despite being thrown a hundred times; a thousand times — as many times as it takes to learn the secret of inner balance and emotional control, regardless of whether they face a man, a giant, or a mountain.

May you become a Master, my friend.

April 12th, 2008 by Lance Ong

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Looking Beyond Materialism.

Looking Beyond Materialism

Recently I had someone ask me whether there is any greater meaning in this world beyond just making money and living the high life. She said it seems the whole culture is just obsessed with becoming rich. And nobody really cares what we're here for or whether there is meaning in this existence.

Here's a little event that set me thinking: While I was in Borders bookstore, an old man sat down beside me and began to talk. He had kind eyes – a very dignified old man. Looking at him, I recognized a friend, even though we had never met. Norman shares with me some of his life experiences and I began to understand how a man of his age might see the world. Then I ask, "Norman, do you think that… at your age, you have achieved your purpose in life?"

"Well," he replies. "My life is in God's hands… I go where he takes me. But I can tell you this: The world today is too materialistic… no good… no good at all." Then he goes silent, as if in some sort of deep thought. His words echo in my mind. This is from someone who has lived seven decades more than I. So it really makes me wonder what we should value in life and where we should channel our energies.

Out of the entire world's population, most of us will never live the high life. That is reserved for the top 1% of rich and wealthy – about 60 million people. Let's not forget that the world has approximately 6 billion people, so there are another 5.9 billion who form our middle and lower class. Economists have discovered a problem: The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer, creating greater disparity between the haves and have-nots. World Bank reports show that many people do not have enough money to ensure a comfortable retirement, and that there is not enough funds stored in pension plans to cater for the aging baby-boomers.

In China, social trends like aging population, longer lifespan, and the one-child policy, predict disaster: Soon China will have less and less adults supporting more and more old people. Everyone will be clamouring to earn as much money as they can to pay for hospitals, day care, medication, treatments and more. The population is desperate to build wealth. The frustration is incredible – on one hand, they want to live the good life; on the other, their financial responsibilities are heavy, so they are denied the ideal lifestyle. This trend exists not only in China, but many first world countries with aging populations. So perhaps now it makes sense why everyone is obsessed with becoming rich.

So it looks like most of us will never get to see the yacht and mansion lifestyle of the rich and famous. However, I have an alternative view of life. When you look through the world through this point of view, you will never frustrate yourself about not making enough money. You will earn your money in a stress-free manner, which allows you to enjoy your life before it's over.

The truth is like this: Like infants who suckle on mothers' breasts, we expect Mother Earth to make us content; we expect God to fulfil our needs; we expect the world to be as we want it. When we awaken to the harsh reality of 'earning a living' and 'working to survive', then we see money as our only buffer against the pain of poverty – the key to having all that we want, the way to the luxuries and experiences which will bring us joy and contentment.

Without enough money, it feels like we are being denied all the nourishment and joy which was promised. So like mad dogs we enter the rat race, studying for 16 years then rushing out to the working world where we spend another 40 years climbing the corporate ladder, while raising a family at the same time. The whole world does this – every single person fortunate enough to go to school. So can you imagine every single human wanting to make money and hump each other's brains out? The futility of it!

The fundamental problem comes from doing things for the wrong reasons. Most people do not understand their inner desires. That which drives us to do what we do, is mostly animal instinct. The instinct to procreate, the drive to earn as much as we can – for example: to prove I'm a capable man worthy of procreating with. "Look, I can protect the children. Look, I can bring home the bacon. Look, I'm a sexy guy – I work out – good in bed!" So with this survival, mating, or animal instinct creating desire within us, we tell ourselves, "I must be rich! I must be good-looking! I must be better then them!" And all these 'musts' cause us much frustration, especially when we don't have deeper reasons for why we 'must be' something.

I don't mean that we should give up trying to self-actualize or become who we are meant to be… what I mean is that we should do it for the right reasons. Go beyond your survival and mating instinct and find real reasons for doing what you do. If you want to become rich, don't just do it to attract the opposite sex or because you like shopping, do it because you want to contribute to society in a great way; for the security of your family, or because you want to experience the world and money is the ticket. Know your reasons because they are the true driving force of our achievements. If you just do things out of sex or pleasure drive, soon you'll run out of steam because as you get older, procreating isn't important anymore. Look beyond pleasure and materialism.

In the material world, everything is death-bound, meaning that it will come to an end. Stars like Marilyn Monroe and Elvis died at the peak of their careers. They had everything – money, good looks, great career, fantastic house, boyfriends, and girlfriends – but in the end, it is all death-bound.

If you want true inner peace, then practice non-attachment. Realize that there is nothing you really have to do in this lifetime, only that which you want to. All the material objects and concerns that we chase are illusions which keep you trapped in a never-ending struggle and pursuit for more.

If you can understand that material luxuries and pleasures are all death-bound, then you can approach life in a different way. No longer will you sacrifice your life to chase the almighty dollar, but stop and consider what's your purpose and mission on Earth. For if everyone that's born on this planet just needs to earn enough money and hump each other's brains out, then that is a mundane existence indeed. There is something special for you to do in this world, in this lifetime. But it's not for me to tell… even if I tried, I can only suggest what it might be. Ultimately, you have to discover it for yourself.

So to answer the question set out at the beginning of this article: there is nothing wrong with wanting to make money, it's necessary for survival. However, it's important to look at what you're contributing your life towards. When you are old, like Norman, can you look back on all you've done and appreciate the contribution you've made? Beyond just making money and raising a family, can you say, "I've achieved my life's purpose"?

In a conversation with a friend yesterday, he asked a good question. He said, "What constitutes a life purpose?" I said, "Contribution – something you give to society or the world. Something you love. Something you are willing to suffer for. Something you will do even if no one pays you. That's a life purpose."

December 9th, 2007 by Lance Ong

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Priceles Words..


A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?

I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,


Thursday, November 20, 2008

These Are My Wishes For You.

May you find serenity and tranquility
in a world you may not always understand.

May the pain you have known
and the conflict you have experienced
give you the strength to walk through life
facing each new situation with courage and optimism.

Always know that there are those
whose love and understanding will always be there,
even when you feel most alone.

May a kind word,
a reassuring touch,
and a warm smile
be yours every day of your life,
and may you give these gifts
as well as receive them.

May the teachings of those you admire
become part of you,
so that you may call upon them.

Remember, those whose lives you have touched
and who have touched yours
are always a part of you,
even if the encounters were less than you would have wished.
It is the content of the encounter
that is more important than its form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters,
but instead place immeasurable value
on the goodness in your heart.
Find time in each day to see beauty and love
in the world around you.

Realize that what you feel you lack in one regard
you may be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present
may become one of your strengths in the future.
May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.
Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.

May you find enough inner strength
to determine your own worth by yourself,
and not be dependent
on another's judgment of your accomplishments.

May you always feel loved.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Real Meaning Of Peace

Meaning Of Peace

There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.

But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest - in perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?

"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

Friday, November 14, 2008

The Power of Silence...

Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you just ran out of words and you go...

S i l e n t ???
Let me assist you in recalling...

.... the moment when you left your home for the first time and you look

back at your parents who are worried that their son/daughter are

leaving them yet happy that their child took the first step towards


..... the moment when the girl/boy you like most.. smiled back at you!

You don't say anything.. you just smile back..

..... the moment when you get better marks than you expected... those

"numb" moments of ecstasy n surprise "is that true?"...

..... the moment when you are parting with your old friend(s) and the

train has just started... and you are standing on the door of the

wagon.. waving "bye-bye" with your heart beating fast...

... .. the moment after the HR manager has just called you and told


"You are through! Congrats!"

..... the moment when you sit alone in your room after having told

everyone that you cleared that exam you prepared for 6 months!!

You can go on remembering your "special" moments!

I had always wondered why I never said anything to myself at those

moments.. as if it was "understood"... happiness, joy, pain.. all

feelings just flowed ceaselessly in the 'years' that passed in those

flash moments!

They say.. the best way to communicate is through "silence".

Love. Joy. Grief. Surprise. Anger. Hope. Expectations. Support.


Can you imagine the importance of a silent moment in a song??

When Bryan Adams stops for a while along with music, before he goes

on in his husky voice...

..... Please forgive me. I can't stop loving you!

Ever had those moments when you thought you were tired enough that

you reach for your bed after dinner.. but find yourself wide awake

looking at the roof of your room silently...

But you sure are 'thinking'... those moments of self-talk are the

most important in our lives. Those moments when we listen to our own

hearts! Those promises... those decisions... those are the moments

when we make our destinies!

Next time you go silent... listen carefully to what your heart is

saying.. listen to its joy...listen to its pain.. listen to its

fears.. listen to its desires..

and Be in touch with your true self...

Sunday, November 9, 2008


When you take the time to learn about, understand and tap into your intuition, you will find that your decisions and actions are so much easier to make.

As you go through the decisions that you make in your daily life how much do you rely on your intuition? Do you feel focused and strong in the choices that you make? Or do you feel that you have to deliberate, analyse, weigh out pros and cons, get lots of opinions from friends or family and scare yourself into a decision? Maybe you are one to make a quick decision and then second guess it to the point that you undo what you believed in?

Well you are not alone! We all have had our rounds of confusion and analysis paralysis. The one conclusion is that logic alone does not work. And the answer is to learn how to use a tool that you were actually born with. That tool is your intuition. We hear the words ‘surrender’, ‘trust’ and ‘let go’ all the time. But what does that really mean? And what are we surrendering to? Our logic tells us this is dangerous. So our best attempts to let go last a few minutes and then we are back to trying to figure it all out!

Your intuition is comprised of the energetic senses that you were born with to assist you in staying connected to your higher or inner self. We can refer to that self as a number of names, Divine Guidance, God, The Universe etc. I refer to it as Spirit. But essentially it is all the same thing.

We are always connected to that power greater than our physical selves and that connection is our intuition. I have taught classes on Letting Go and while people have the best of intentions the thing that really holds them back is a lack of trust. That is because we do not understand the mystery of our intuition.

So here are five key points for you to consider that will hopefully help you get a better handle on the most powerful sense that you have.

1. Your intuition is your direct and absolute link to communication with Spirit.

2. Your intuitive senses lay over your physical senses. We get energetic or intuitive feelings through energetic sight (like deja vu), energetic hearing (you hear a small voice that gives you a warning or feels like a hunch to follow), energetic feeling (a gut feeling in your stomach that feels like butterflies or goose bumps) and energetic knowing (feeling like you just know how to do something or how a situation will turn out without learning or cause).

3. Everyone is born with intuition and has the ability to develop it to be strong and reliable.

4. Intuition is always the most efficient and accurate advice that you can get about any issue, concern or desire.

5. Our society encourages us to ignore our intuition and focus strictly on logic. We disengage from our energetic senses and end up feeling very confused, anxious and taking a very long slow road to happiness. Your intuition is always working whether you focus on it or not! When you harness the power of your intuition you are able to fully access your personal power. Not using your intuition is like having eyes and ears and ignoring or fighting their functions. Your eyes and ears are on your head and whether you are concentrating on using them or not they are always working.

They become very powerful tools when you deliberately focus your sight or hearing! Think of how hard it would be to watch a wonderful movie or listen to a beautiful symphony without your ears or eyes! Unwavering trust begins with knowing your intuition and how to use it!
So many people call me for readings and want me to confirm for them that their future outcomes of various hopes or problems will be exactly as i predict. This is so disempowering. Real trust comes from having a direct communication with Spirit yourself through understanding, recognising and knowing how to use and rely on your intuition!

I have done hundreds of intuitive readings for clients and the ones who really do the best after the reading is over are the ones who take responsibility for themselves and use their intuition in combination with their creative problem solving tools like logic to decide what to do next.
When we ignore our intuition we feel anxious, confused and uneasy. We may feel intellectually that it is the right decision but something still doesn't feel certain. So we decide to take lots and lots of action to leave no stone unturned. This creates that going by the seat of your pants or chicken without a head feeling.

When we use our intuition it may seem illogical but our decision feels right. It feels like a sense of knowing or certainty that you may not be able to describe. And your actions feel inspired. You feel led as opposed to running after an outcome. You feel guided to take inspired action and your hunch feels like a knowing instead of a reckless risk.

It’s time to empower yourself by harnessing your own intuition! When you take the time to learn about, understand and tap into your intuition, you will find that your decisions and actions are so much easier to make!

You will live so much more powerfully and efficiently. Your tasks will be done in a fraction of the time because you will be working from certainty instead of fear! You may consider the opinions of others for a perspective but you will know that your intuition has the final say!
Mariana Cooper

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Stress is all around us

Stress is all around us

One of the words that you hear most commonly in workplaces today is the word ‘stress’.

“There is so much stress at work”

“I’m so stressed about this tender document we are working on.”

“Every time that client calls me, my stress levels hit the roof.”

People everywhere are stressed. Or think they are stressed. Or they like to talk about being stressed. It’s such a common phenomenon in the 21st century that maybe historians looking back will refer to this era as the Stressed-Out Age’.

Yet, stress is not a brand new trend for it was back in 1992 that the UN report called job stress a ‘20th Century Epidemic’ and the World Health Organisation called job stress a ‘World Wide Epidemic’.

There are numerous estimates that indicate that job stress costs industry billions of dollars each year in absenteeism, diminished productivity, employee turnover, accidents, direct medical, legal, and insurance fees and compensation payments.

We all get stressed at some time in our working life, some more than others. The way we deal with stress is the main difference that separates us, and the degree to which we are affected is also a major variable. Not only can stress affect your ability to work, consequently affecting your business, but more importantly, it can dramatically affect your health.

Believe it or not, stress is not always a bad thing. It is a natural phenomenon and you cannot eliminate it altogether. Instead, you have to learn how to control or 'manage' stress to avoid the negative symptoms that we are threatened by.

Stress is 'taken' by the individual and not 'given' by the pressure of work. In other words, it is not about being faced with pressure, but more how we react to pressure. This is why some people welcome stress, as it acts as a motive to get things done.

Many executives who work long hours, travel frequently and feel generally overloaded seem to continually feel the negative effects of stress. The number of hours employees now spend at work has steadily increased in the past few decades. Some Industrial Relations specialists are suggesting that people are now spending as much time at their jobs as they did back in the 1920s.

Many psychologists say that stress adds flavour, challenge and opportunity to life. Without stress, life would be dull and unexciting. However, too much stress can seriously affect your physical and mental well-being. Recurrent physical and psychological stress can diminish self-esteem, decrease interpersonal and academic effectiveness and create a cycle of self-blame and self-doubt. It is important for your health that you find the optimal level of stress that you can learn to manage effectively.

Stress is unique and personal to each of us. What is relaxing to one person may be stressful to another. One person may find "taking it easy" at the beach relaxing while another may find it boring. The key to stress reduction is identifying strategies that fit you as an individual.

Some of the best actions for dealing with stress include:
  • Remove yourself from the stressful situation and give yourself a break if only for a few moments daily.
  • Set realistic goals for yourself and reduce the number of events going on in your life and you may reduce the circuit overload.
  • Don't sweat the small stuff - try to prioritise a few truly important things and let the rest slide.
  • Don't overwhelm yourself by fretting about your entire workload. Handle each task as it comes, or selectively deal with matters in some priority.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

The Park Bench.

The Park Bench

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree. Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown, for the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day, A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play.

He stood right before me with his head tilted down and said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, with it's petals all worn, not enough rain, or to little light. Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play, I faked a small smile and then shifted away. But instead of retreating he sat next to my side and placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise, "It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too. That's why I picked it; here it's for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead. Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red. But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need." But instead of him placing the flower in my hand, he held it mid-air without reason or plan. It was then that I noticed for the very first time that weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun as I thanked him for picking the very best one. You're welcome, he smiled, and then ran off to play, unaware of the impact he'd had on my day. I sat there and wondered how he managed to see a self-pitying man beneath an old willow tree. How did he know of my self-indulged plight?

Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight. Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see the problem was not with the world; the problem was me. And for all of those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate every second that's mine. And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose and breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose. And smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand about to change the life of an unsuspecting man.

Thursday, October 30, 2008


A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?


The husband just said "I am with you Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior.
The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother.
Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you

This story is really worth reading. ..... Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out something called LIFE.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

If you compare, you are insulting yourself.

No one will manufacture a lock without a key.

Similarly God won't give problems without solutions.

Life laughs at you when you are unhappy...

Life smiles at you when you are happy...

Life salutes you when you make others happy...

Every successful person has a painful story...Every painful story has a successful ending

Accept the pain and get ready for success..

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others....Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to cover the earth with carpet.

No one can go back and change a bad beginning; But anyone can start now and create a successful ending..

If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it..If a problem cannot be solved what is the use of worrying?

If you miss an opportunity don't fill the eyes with tears...It will hide another better opportunity in front of you

"Changing the Face" can change nothing. But "Facing the Change" can change everything.

Don't complain about others; Change yourself if you want peace.

Mistakes are painful when they happen. But year's later collection of mistakes is called experience, which leads to success.

Be bold when you loose and be calm when you win. Be bold when you loose and be calm when you win.

Heated gold becomes ornament. Beaten copper becomes wires. Depleted stone becomes statue. So the more pain you get in life you become more valuable.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Are you true to yourself?

You decide for yourself what you want. It is not for others to decide for you. Instead of always listening to others, listen to your own heart.

Have you been true to yourself ? Have you being following your heart, believing in yourself; trusting your very own belief ? Or has this thought never even occurred to you before? Now that you are reading this, give yourself this chance and ask yourself this question. Be true and answer it honestly. It is a very simple question to answer, isn’t it? To answer it, say either ‘yes’ or ‘no’. It’s as simple as that! But very often, things are not that simple for many. You might be one of them.

Living as we do in a modernised, fast-changing, ever-developing time, it is indeed hard for things to be that simple. Every one of us is, in a way, forced to keep up with the pace, brainwashed to just believe in the system. We are taught to believe that in order to survive and to be successful, we have to follow what is laid down for us, follow what everyone else is doing; that we should be doing this and not doing that.

But are you not the one who is supposed to be telling yourself what you should do, rather than being told by others? The sad truth is, many of us unknowingly live our lives, only to be consumed by regret in our later years; when it is too late to do anything. It’s a scary thought, isn’t it?

Now, this is certainly not the way life should be. To begin with, life shouldn't be this stressful. Yes, to constantly learn and to improve ourselves is what we should be doing. But you should not lose your direction, drifting further and further away from the real you.

Are you the real you now? You have to understand this. Right within you there exists two states, your inner self and your outer self. Your inner self is made up of your thoughts and beliefs, your outer self comprises of the actions which support your inner thoughts. To put it simply, your inner self plus your outer self equal to the real you.

To be the real you, your inner self and outer self must complement one another. Remember this. You came into this world with a journey of your own to discover. This life journey is yours and yours alone and nobody else’s. You decide for yourself what you want. It is not for others to decide for you. If you have to please someone, please yourself, not somebody else.

For all that exists in this world, there is always the equal and the opposite side. But though they may be opposing, they are at all times interrelating. This is the natural way of life. When there is day there will be night. When there is a positive there will be a negative. When there are strengths, there will also be weaknesses. The list goes on.

Similarly within you, when you can be happy you can be unhappy too. Surely, happiness is what you seek in life? So, be true to yourself ! It is only when you are true to yourself that you will find happiness. Instead of listening to others to allow them to tell you that you shouldn't do this and that, you tell yourself that you must do this and you must do that! Instead of listening to others, listen to your heart.

What is right and what is wrong? There is never a definite right or wrong. You do what you think is right for yourself. Just picture this scenario. Right from the time that we are children, we have been taught over and over again that it is a sin to lie. Now, let me ask you something. If you can actually save a person’s life by telling a kind lie, would you? Suppose telling a kind lie would result in him being spared and given another chance, while telling the truth would mean that the poor man would lose his life. Now, which is a sin, to tell a lie or to indirectly murder someone? The line between being a saint or a murderer is a thin one.

Similarly, there is a thin line between a happy and unhappy you. Which side of the line do you want to be? To be a truthfully happy person, your actions must complements your thoughts and belief. You have to understand this. Even the slightest decision can affect your life. Sometimes having just a few additional minutes of sleep can make a difference to your day. Those few minutes could decide whether you will have an efficient day or a bad one.

Seek the correct way of life. Be true to yourself and you are bound to find happiness.

Jon Sim

Sunday, October 19, 2008


On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer.

I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!!
My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.

While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter...hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... Splash!!!

Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as, I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "Wake up man! Come to meeting room umber two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Concentration Finds The Way

Everyone has two natures. One wants us to advance and the other wants to pull us back. The one that we cultivate and concentrate on decides what we are at the end. Both natures are trying to gain control. The will alone decides the issue. A man by one supreme effort of the will may change his whole career and almost accomplish miracles. You may be that man. You can be if you Will to be, for Will can find a way or make one.

I could easily fill a book, of cases where men plodding along in a matter-of-fact way, were all at once aroused and as if awakening from a slumber they developed the possibilities within them and from that time on were different persons. You alone can decide when the turning point will come. It is a matter of choice whether we allow our diviner self to control us or whether we will be controlled by the brute within us. No man has to do anything he does not want to do. He is therefore the director of his life if he wills to be. What we are to do, is the result of our training. We are like putty, and can be completely controlled by our will power.

Habit is a matter of acquirement. You hear people say: "He comes by this or that naturally, a chip off the old block," meaning that he is only doing what his parents did. This is quite often the case, but there is no reason for it, for a person can break a habit just the moment he masters the "I will". A man may have been a "good-for-nothing" all his life up to this very minute, but from this time on he begins to amount to something. Even old men have suddenly changed and accomplished wonders. "I lost my opportunity," says one. That may be true, but by sheer force of will, we can find a way to bring us another opportunity. There is no truth in the saying that opportunity knocks at our door but once in a lifetime. The fact is, opportunity never seeks us; we must seek it. What usually turns out to be one man's opportunity was another man's loss. In this day one man's brain is matched against another's. It is often the quickness of brain action that determines the result. One man thinks "I will do it," but while he procrastinates the other goes ahead and does the work. They both have the same opportunity. The one will complain of his lost chance. But it should teach him a lesson, and it will, if he is seeking the path that leads to success.

Many persons read good books, but say they do not get much good out of them. They do not realize that all any book or any lesson course can do is to awaken them to their possibilities; to stimulate them to use their will power. You may teach a person from now until doom's day, but that person will only know what he learns himself. "You can lead him to the fountain, but you can't make him drink."

One of the most beneficial practices I know of is that of looking for the good in everyone and everything, for there is good in all things. We encourage a person by seeing his good qualities and we also help ourselves by looking for them. We gain their good wishes, a most valuable asset sometimes. We get back what we give out. The time comes when most all of us need encouragement; need buoying up. So form the habit of encouraging others, and you will find it a wonderful tonic for both those encouraged and yourself, for you will get back encouraging and uplifting thoughts.

Life furnishes us the opportunity to improve. But whether we do it or not depends upon how near we live up to what is expected of us. The first of each month, a person should sit down and examine the progress he has made. If he has not come up to "expectations" he should discover the reason, and by extra exertion measure up to what is demanded next time. Every time that we fall behind what we planned to do, we lose just so much for that time is gone forever. We may find a reason for doing it, but most excuses are poor substitutes for action. Most things are possible. Ours may be a hard task, but the harder the task, the greater the reward. It is the difficult things that really develop us, anything that requires only a small effort, utilizes very few of our faculties, and yields a scanty harvest of achievement. So do not shrink from a hard task, for to accomplish one of these will often bring us more good than a dozen lesser triumphs.

I know that every man that is willing to pay the price can be a success. The price is not in money, but in effort. The first essential quality for success is the desire to do--to be something. The next thing is to learn how to do it; the next to carry it into execution. The man that is the best able to accomplish anything is the one with a broad mind; the man that has acquired knowledge, that may, it is true, be foreign to this particular case, but is, nevertheless, of some value in all cases. So the man that wants to be successful must be liberal; he must acquire all the knowledge that he can; he must be well posted not only in one branch of his business but in every part of it. Such a man achieves success.

The secret of success is to try always to improve yourself no matter where you are or what your position is. Learn all you can. Don't see how little you can do, but how much you can do. Such a man will always be in demand, for he establishes the reputation of being a hustler. There is always room for him because progressive firms never let a hustler leave their employment if they can help it.

The man that reaches the top is the gritty, plucky, hard worker and never the timid, uncertain, slow worker. An untried man is seldom put in a position of responsibility and power. The man selected is one that has done something, achieved results in some line, or taken the lead in his department. He is placed there because of his reputation of putting vigor and virility into his efforts, and because he has previously shown that he has pluck and determination.

The man that is chosen at the crucial time is not usually a genius; he does not possess any more talent than others, but he has learned that results can only be produced by untiring concentrated effort. That "miracles," in business do not just "happen." He knows that the only way they will happen is by sticking to a proposition and seeing it through. That is the only secret of why some succeed and others fail. The successful man gets used to seeing things accomplished and always feels sure of success. The man that is a failure gets used to seeing failure, expects it and attracts it to him.

It is my opinion that with the right kind of training every man could be a success. It is really a shame that so many men and women, rich in ability and talent, are allowed to go to waste, so to speak. Some day I hope to see a millionaire philanthropist start a school for the training of failures. I am sure he could not put his money to a better use. In a year's time the science of practical psychology could do wonders for him. He could have agencies on the lookout for men that had lost their grip on themselves; that had through indisposition weakened their will; that through some sorrow or misfortune had become discouraged. At first all they need is a little help to get them back on their feet, but usually they get a knock downwards instead. The result is that their latent powers never develop and both they and the world are the losers. I trust that in the near future, someone will heed the opportunity of using some of his millions in arousing men that have begun to falter. All they need to be shown is that there is within them an omnipotent source that is ready to aid them, providing they will make use of it. Their minds only have to be turned from despair to hope to make them regain their hold.

When a man loses his grip today, he must win his redemption by his own will. He will get little encouragement or advice of an inspiring nature. He must usually regain the right road alone. He must stop dissipating his energies and turn his attention to building a useful career. Today we must conquer our weakening tendencies alone. Don't expect anyone to help you. Just take one big brace, make firm resolutions, and resolve to conquer your weaknesses and vices. Really none can do this for you. They can encourage you; that is all.

I can think of nothing, but lack of health that should interfere with one becoming successful. There is no other handicap that you should not be able to overcome. To overcome a handicap, all that it is necessary to do is to use more determination and grit and will.

The man with grit and will may be poor today and wealthy in a few years; will power is a better asset than money; Will will carry you over chasms of failure, if you but give it the chance.

The men that have risen to the highest positions have usually had to gain their victories against big odds. Think of the hardships many of our inventors have gone through before they became a success. Usually they have been very much misunderstood by relatives and friends. Very often they did not have the bare necessities of life, yet, by sheer determination and resolute courage, they managed to exist somehow until they perfected their inventions, which afterwards greatly helped in bettering the condition of others.

Everyone really wants to do something, but there are few that will put forward the needed effort to make the necessary sacrifice to secure it. There is only one way to accomplish anything and that is to go ahead and do it. A man may accomplish almost anything today if he just sets his heart on doing it and lets nothing interfere with his progress. Obstacles are quickly overcome by the man that sets out to accomplish his heart's desire. The "bigger" the man, the smaller the obstacle appears. The "smaller" the man, the greater the obstacle appears. Always look at the advantage you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed courage for their conquest.

Do not expect that you will always have easy sailing. Parts of your journey are likely to be rough. Don't let the rough places put you out of commission. Keep on with the journey. Just the way you weather the storm shows what material you are made of. Never sit down and complain of the rough places, but think how nice the pleasant stretches were. View with delight the smooth plains that are in front of you.

Do not let a setback stop you. Think of it as a mere incident that has to be overcome before you can reach your goal.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

How To Handle Negative thoughts,Fears.

I recently heard about someone who had been laid off at the company he worked at because of the faltering economy. He didn't have many job leads and his motivation was at an all-time low. He felt that there was nothing more frightening than being at an uncertain job market. 

Panic and fear quickly took over; where would he go from go from there?

How would he pay his bills?

How would he cope with uncertainty?

His mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and he began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze him into stagnant ground forever. 

As he began to realize what a toll his predicament was leaving him in, it became clear to him that he needed to take action and do something to get himself out of the hole he was in. 

Once he sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing his dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and he was on a roll! 

Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish. 

The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut. 

Reading through them should help you gain some perspectives into your particular situation:

-Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong.

Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you have to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were. It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way. Take some time to get in touch with those feelings. The night this person got laid off he went home, Fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes. Then he got up, took a bath, changed into some comfortable clothes, and then he spent some time sitting in front of the television watching his favorite show. 

Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be. But focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out. 

-Take a DEEP BREATH! -

Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it. Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus. Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.

-Organize your home, organize your life -

Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have? If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it. There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it. So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way. You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.

-Surround yourself with positive people -

Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive. Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.


-Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism - Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus. Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it. Take charge of your life again.

-Have someone objective to talk to -

When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful. In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.

-Keep a journal of your progress -

Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.

-Get out of the house!

Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.

-Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you - Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like playing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings? These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.

-Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE! -

Easier said than done. Believe me, nothing about our friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had he not kept himself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety. Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do. So dress up, get your smile and go out into the world! 

Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace. 

All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!!!