Monday, September 22, 2008

Please do read this ... do not be too busy Earning a Living and in the process Forget to Live. Here is a hair raising story which shows the importance of Time Management and understanding what Life and Priorities are all about.

Trust you will enjoy the read and start Living each day.. each moment...!!!

A friend of mine opened his wife's saree drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

"This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

"She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said:

"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life.

Now I read more and clean less.

I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.

I spend more time with my family, and less at work.

I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.

I no longer keep anything.

I use crystal glasses every day.

I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.

I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary.

If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now.

I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.

She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.

I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food.

It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.

I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days".

I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives.

And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day.

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.
"One day" is far away... or might never come...Live everyday .. every moment as if it is your last day... last moment....!!!!

The Trouble Tree.

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and then his old pickup truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward, he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

"The funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

Everybody needs a trouble tree...

Yesterday my young friend in early 30s had a heart attack. It is not the stress and pressure that kills us. It is how we chose to react it to the stress and pressure. Our families and spl. innocent children are our safety valves.

No amount of money, perks or power can compensate or value their happiness and smiles.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A thought provoking story.

Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them, " Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstances, in every place and in every time. In every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory? One answer for all questions? Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me? Tell me is there any mantra?"

All the wise men were puzzled by the King's question. They thought and thought. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealled to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper, with a condition that the king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he can see it.

The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.

Some time later, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. The King had to flee on his horse. The enemies were following him. getting closer and closer. Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road - that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished...and he could not
return because it was a small road...the sound of enemy's horses was approaching fast. The King became restless. There seemed to be no way.

Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was - "THIS TOO SHALL PASS"

The King read it . Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes ! This too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone. I am here trying to escape from enemies. Like those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too
will pass. A calm came on his face. He kept standing there. The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom. The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved
into some other part of the mountains and were near him.

The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers were being showered on King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself," I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me. With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He open it and read it again: "THIS TOO SHALL PASS". He became silent. His face went through a total change -from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness. If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by. We are
witnesses of all this. We are the perceivers. Life comes and goes. Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.

Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent ? They all come and pass away. Life just passes away. There is nothing permanent in this world. Every thing changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all
the changes. You have survived all setbacks , all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away.The problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away.

You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it, and enjoy the present moment - this too shall pass!!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Magic within you...

"When he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow; he then becomes the rightful master of himself." 
As A Man Thinketh 

I was reading an old classic the other day, The Message of a master by John McDonald, and I was rocked by an incredibly insightful passage: "The cause of the confusion prevailing in your mind that weakens your thoughts is the false belief that there is a power or powers outside you greater than the power within you.


Stop and think about that. What keeps us from attempting greater things -- from reaching for the brass ring in our life? What makes us take that great idea that could make our family financially free and bury it underneath a lot of reasons why it'd never work? What stops us from that career change that would result in working in a profession we could really enjoy, could get passionate about?

There's only one thing that EVER stops us from forward momentum and McDonald nailed it: "the false belief that there is a power or powers outside you greater than the power within you."

As I once heard a speaker say, "The magic is in YOU!" As James Allen tells us, once we realize that we can create our circumstances, then, and only then, are we truly the master of our life and our destiny.

That would indicate to me that we are already "endowed" with the power to do amazing things -- far more amazing than most of us will ever attempt -- if we'd only understand and BELIEVE that the power is within, not without.

And that's worth thinking about.

Monday, September 15, 2008

5 Great Lessons..

1. First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car hadbroken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console colour TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..

It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3. Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied
The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty y dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4. Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5. Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it, if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the colour returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

Friday, September 12, 2008

Amplifying the Energy of the Chakras.

Chakras are the subtle energy centers of the body. The ancient Indian Yogis understood the nature of the subtle energy which drives all biological function. They called these centers “Chakras” which literally means “ wheels.” Those who see energy often perceive the chakras as spinning with a wheel-like appearance.

This energy is most commonly referred to as chi or prana and it is the animating force behind all living things. Physiologists who search for a purely physical explanation of all biological activity are on a fool’s quest, like a man dissecting a piano in order to find the concerto hidden inside. The mystery is vast.

Somewhat like Dr. Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” which moves from survival, to sex, to emotional well-being, etc., the chakras have a similar hierarchy.
  • The first chakra at the base of the spine vibrates with the energy of safety and security.
  • The second chakra across from the genitals holds the energy of sex, procreation and creativity.
  • The third chakra at the solar plexus carries the energy of emotional expression.
  • The fourth chakra at the heart vibrates love.
  • The fifth chakra is at the throat and holds the energy of communication.
  • The sixth chakra is at the “ third eye” between the brows and holds energy for insight, awareness and wisdom. 
  • The seventh chakra is at the crown of the head and and helps us open to our spirituality. 
Most people who are familiar with the chakras do not realize that you can activate and amplify the energy of the chakras to assist yourself and others for the purpose of healing. Since energy follows thought, when you put your attention into the chakras, you are also bringing energy there. Since breath carries the life-force energy, breathing may also amplify the energy. When you have learned to link powerful body awareness exercises with focused breathing, and vortex the chakras, the energy you generate becomes remarkable.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Balance Sheet of Life.

BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE

Our Birth is our Opening Balance !
Our Death is our Closeting Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock- in -Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.
Some very Good and Very bad things ....
The most destructive habit......................Worry
The greatest Joy...............................Giving
The greatest loss................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfy in g work...............Help in g others
The ugliest personality trait.............Selfishness
The most endangered species.........Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource...............Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"..........Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.................Fear
The most effective sleep in g pill........Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease............Excuses
The most powerful force in life..................Love
The most dangerous pariah..................A gossiper
The world's most in credible computer........The brain
The worst thing to be without................... Hope
The deadliest weapon.......................The tongue
The two most power-filled words..............."I Can"
The greatest asset..............................Faith
The most worthless emotion..................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire......................SMILE!
The most prized possession................Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication.....Prayer
The most contagious spirit.................Enthusiasm
The most important thing in life..................GOD

Monday, September 8, 2008

Connecting with God.

Connecting with God

Who looks outside — dreams.
Who looks inside — awakes.
Carl Gustav Jung

The single most important thing you can do in your life is to connect with your source. Greater than anything you desire, connecting with source allows you to develop a relationship with the infinite wisdom of the Universe. By staying connected you will be in the flow and everything comes easily and quickly to you.

You have heard it said, go with the flow. This doesn’t mean follow the masses — it means to connect with your source and go with its flow — which is unique for each and every one of us. Where do you think you really come from? Your parents? Yes, you share their DNA and your body comes from their joining. But where does the you that stares out from behind those eyes live? In your cells, in your DNA, your central nervous system? Do you live in your mind? Are you your mind?

Have you ever noticed that when you experience anything — a moment, an event or circumstance and that while you participate and enjoy or not these things that occur; that part of you sits back and watches everything? Many call this the observer, the witness, your spirit, your soul, whatever name you choose — it is that part of you that is always connected to source — it stands back and witnesses everything. Your eternal being resides here and always stays in direct communication with source for without that connection you would die.

If we are always connected why must we then connect? Does this seem confusing to you? Yes, you are always connected with source, period and nothing can sever that relationship. But the part of you that stays connected is not in your conscious mind. When i talk about connecting with source, i mean consciously. For too long we have made the part of our being that is connected with source sit in the back of the bus. Many things — your life falls apart, you get sick, things don’t go your way, you lose your job, your lover, your house, whatever is consuming your life.

The father-mother God of your being won’t stay in the back of the bus for long — especially if something in you awakens. Yes, you can have all that you desire but not at the cost of your soul.

The relationship with source is different for everyone. It doesn’t take your believing in source for source to empower your being. Nor can you tell another person how their relationship with source is supposed to be. It is a very individual experience. It is the most intimate of relationships you will ever experience. Source never leaves you, never lies to you, and never makes you feel guilty. Source loves you unconditionally and always says yes to you — even if your belief is such that you feel the universe says no. The universe will support whatever you believe to be true.

An important fact to understand: the universe always says yes even when you perceive it to be no. When you experience no, what you are experiencing is your belief in no so the universe says yes by supporting your no. You define your world. Source does not do that for you. Source is not your ego, your personality or any trait or characteristic of your being. Source is not your belief structure or your religious undertakings. Source is Divine Infinite Wisdom. Some call it God, Energy, Allah, Yahweh — it is known by many names or none.

You can ask your source about anything and it will answer. It answers by giving you a feeling. If you feel calm and peaceful — that is your answer — which can be interpreted as yes. If you feel more confused and at unrest — this can be interpreted as no.

As you develop your own relationship with your source you will find what form of communication works for you. There are no set rules and this is a very personal relationship — one that no one but you and source together share. The point is this: more than a body, more than a personality, or an ego, you are a divine child of the universe with an eternal spirit.

You come from source, you exist because of source, and someday you return to source. Critical for your well-being as well as for your endeavours in this journey of creating your reality and learning to become the real you — the divine child of the universe — connecting with your source is a step you must make on your own.

This is a very personal journey, no man; woman or child can come between you and your Source. Death cannot separate you from your source. Source is the very source of your being. The part of you that does not reside in the physical realm — the part of you that constantly maintains twentyfour hour access to all things, known and unknown, seen and unseen stands a mere breath away.

Reference:
Laurie J Brenner

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Seven Deadly Sins You should avoid.

Wealth without work

This refers to getting something for nothing - manipulating markets assets so you do not have to work or produce added value. The share scams - Harshad Mehta, Enron, network marketing /pyramid marketing all are examples of this. Remember these do not carry on for long. It is against the natural law to get returns without paying for it. There is nothing called as free meal. It always strikes back and when it strikes back the person is doomed.

Pleasure without conscience

When somebody becomes greedy and excessively selfish only seeking his/her pleasure without worrying for the consequences it is time for doom. The nature strikes back. While cheating the spouses or neglecting the family and children to seek the pleasures is always going to rebound back. The aids, lifestyle diseases, pollutions, natural disasters are all the result of our excessive pleasure seeking without any care for others.

Knowledge without character

o A little knowledge is a dangerous thing but more dangerous is much knowledge without the strong principle character. This is all about our value system. Many a brilliant knowledgeable people have bitten dust because of this. The latest is Dr. A. Q. Khan - a brilliant nuclear scientist who hawked the nuclear bomb to the various countries like Iran without worrying about the implications. It is really a sad thing to see that a knowledgeable person is using his/her knowledge or learnings for ulterior motive. There are lot of examples of the brilliant people who have there reputation tarnished because of this. Starting from Bill Clinton to Hanse Cronje to Nick Leeson .. all were guilty and ultimately paid the price.

Commerce (business without morality)

The sole purpose of the commercial entity is not to make profit. o Today all the big corporate are much hated figures whether it is a Microsoft or Walmart. People feel something sinister about them. That is why companies which are perceived as conscious, possessing moral principles are much rewarded both by the customers and stakeholders. The companies like Wipro, Infosys or Google have a much higher market capitalization and Price to earning ratio than the similar corporations whose only business objective is profit maximization.

Science without Humanity

If the science become all technique and technology, it quickly degenerates into man against humanity. The development of all these advanced weapons instead of the resources being spent on fighting the disease, environment pollution or increasing the agricultural production to feed the millions…. Are all examples of this.

Political without principle

What a great nation has been reduced to - George Bush just played politics without any principle resulting. Similarly if anything can stop India from becoming a superpower it will be our politicians who will go out to any length to win elections or remain in the government or to spite rivals. " Religion without sacrifice o Religion calls for sacrifice and not the war cries. Take any religion while Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam or Christianity all of them have been built on the bedrock of sacrifices. You cannot claim yourself to be servant of God and go on fighting/beating killing people on the name of religion.


Reference:
Adapted from the book " The Principled Centre Leadership" by Stephen Covey.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

An Incredible Love Story.

An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world.

It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century..

The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple's home for the last 50 years.
Over 50 years ago, Liu Guojiang a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu Chaoqin..

In a twist worthy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that Xu already had children.


At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.. To avoid the market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing Municipality.

In the beginning, life was harsh as they had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives..

Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, 'Are you regretful? Liu always replied, 'As long as we are industrious, life will improve.'

In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years, to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps. Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, 'My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day. He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother's convenience, although she doesn't go down the mountain that much.'

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife's hand even after he had passed away.

'You promised me you'll take care of me, you'll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?'

Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband's black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story became one of the top 10 love stories from China , collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

Please do read this ... do not be too busy Earning a Living and in the process Forget to Live. Here is a hair raising story which shows the importance of Time Management and understanding what Life and Priorities are all about.

Trust you will enjoy the read and start Living each day.. each moment...!!!

A friend of mine opened his wife's saree drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

"This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

"She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said:

"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life.

Now I read more and clean less.

I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.

I spend more time with my family, and less at work.

I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.

I no longer keep anything.

I use crystal glasses every day.

I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.

I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary.

If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now.

I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.

She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.

I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food.

It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.

I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days".

I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives.

And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day.

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.
"One day" is far away... or might never come...Live everyday .. every moment as if it is your last day... last moment....!!!!

The Trouble Tree.

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and then his old pickup truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward, he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

"The funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

Everybody needs a trouble tree...

Yesterday my young friend in early 30s had a heart attack. It is not the stress and pressure that kills us. It is how we chose to react it to the stress and pressure. Our families and spl. innocent children are our safety valves.

No amount of money, perks or power can compensate or value their happiness and smiles.

Winning with People:The way of words.Or.Swords.?

We've discussed words a number of times - how negative words (e.g.'yergunnahafta', 'problem', etc.) can quite often trigger an unpleasant interaction, and how positive words (e.g. 'excellent', 'let's figure out how to make this work.' etc.) can create positive, long-term outcomes. Our selection of words has broad impacts on our business and personal lives. It can be the different between conflict and comfort, connection or rejection, making a sale or losing a sale, a promotion or stagnation.

Learning to use language skillfully is more than just watching what you say, or trying to walk that often overzealous line of political correctness. When used well, words can motivate, stimulate, educate, persuade, influence and set a tone. It's a subtle, yet powerful skill. It's the difference, for example, between saying, "I think that was a stupid thing for you to do," and "I'm not sure that's the way I would have done it." The first one is accusatory and demeaning, the second one gentle and less confrontational. 



Here's a great practice: Listen carefully to the words that people around you choose. And the next time someone says something that gets under your skin, ask yourself, "How could this person have conveyed the same message in a way that wouldn't have bothered me." Being aware of the language strategies other people use can significantly help you improve your own communication skills. It's truly amazing the difference just a few well selected words can make.

"Words can often get you out of situations that your actions got you into"

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Fear factor

A young lady stood still. Well… as still as she could. Her whole body seemed to be shaking, especially her legs and knees. Her forearms were cramping, and she seemed to be squeezing the perspiration out of the Tightrope instructor's big hands as he stood behind her.

She could feel his presence behind her, and continually tested the security of his grip - just to make sure. They were standing on a platform with the tightrope in front of it. There was little comfort in the fact that she was blindfolded, and that she couldn't see how high she was from the ground. Her sight had been covered since she entered the arena, and she struggled to figure out how she got up there.


"Am I crazy?" she thought.

"Am I out of my mind to be trying to do this? What could I possibly learn from facing this fear?"

"I can't do this…" she whispered.

"Yes, you can." came the baritone voice behind her.

"Now slide your other foot up and place it in front of the other."

She did as she was told. Every fibre of her being wanted to turn around and grab onto the instructor. He sensed this in her body language and reassured her once more. "Don't worry, I'm here."

She was now on the wire! The only things separating her from certain death, were those two palms. Only her tiny fingertips prevented her from plummeting fatally towards the ground.

The instructor told her, "Now, another step."

And so it continued, step by step. It never got easier. This went on for an eternity until she was shocked to hear him say,
"Okay, stand still."

The perspiration was pouring off her now. She could feel it running down her back like tiny streams.


"Take off your blindfold." came the next instruction.

"I can't…" she whispered.
"I'll fall."

"No you won't, I'm here."

Her mind raced. How was her going to stop them from falling, after all they were standing on a tightrope!

The young lady's fingertips seemed cemented to those palms.

"You have to remove your fingers from my hands to take off the blindfold. Don't rush…"

Slowly she lifted the heavy finger tips from his palms and gingerly brought her hands up behind her head. Her fingers couldn't move! Finally she managed to pry the bond apart. As it fell away, the brightness of the light almost blinded her, and she wobbled - grasping for those hands. Sure enough they were there. The woman's eyes adjusted and focussed. What she saw wanted to make her cry and scream with relief, anger, humiliation, and joy.

There she was - three feet from the ground! On her left was someone ready to catch her if she fell that way. There was someone on her right side too. Then there was those familiar hands, reaching from behind her, holding her hands. She continued to stand still on the wire.

"I…I…don't understand!" she croaked, as the tears ran down her cheeks.

The instructor answered;

"You thought your greatest fear was of heights. Today you discovered that your greatest fear is to be alone."

"What you have learned is that, no matter how frightening the challenge is before you, you will conquer it with someone by your side."

"Also, your fears are often not grounded in fact, but more assumption and deceit. You thought you were high off the ground, but you weren't. Your fear was in fact unfounded.

You were blindfolded and your intellect and circumstance lied to you. They told you that you would fall." he continued,

"Your faith, and trust was in me not to let you fall. Not only that, although you were only three feet from the ground, I made sure that there was someone to catch you should you stumble and fall."

Meditation Has Clinically Proven Workplace Benefits

Stress has gotten to be fairly commonplace in many employees' lives. More EAP programs offer stress management as a part of their work-life balance menu, and that may include meditation.

"I teach classes for meditators in the corporate environments already, and it reflects a growing trend in the workplace as employers discover the benefits for themselves," said David Michie, author of Buddhism for Busy People.

When people meditate regularly, Michie said some clinically proven benefits include physiological changes that promote stress reduction including reduced blood pressure.

"Not only is blood pressure lowered, our whole metabolism slows down. Our heart beat and breathing slows down, and we become more relaxed. When we're less stressed out and more relaxed, we tend to be a lot more forgiving of people's behavior, and interpersonal relationships tend to improve. In contrast, if everyone's uptight and angry, we all know what kind of environment that creates."

Michie said a second benefit to regular meditation is increased focus or concentration.

"When we meditate, we focus on our object of meditation, which is usually just one thing. It could be focusing on your breath or a mantra or visualization - even a physical object. When we do that over a sustained period of time, our concentration tends to improve. It has a kind of ripple effect, and as our concentration improves, that makes us far better performers in a corporate environment. We're able to process tasks and get through work. Our focus is enhanced, and our sense of objectivity and clarity is dramatically enhanced, as well."

Michie said much like a glass of storm water left to settle so that the sediment separates to the bottom, regular meditation can reduce the agitation employees build up.

"That tends to subside, and we're able to see opportunities and avenues that we didn't see, with a far greater degree of detachment and objectivity than when we have an agitated mind.

"I tried for many, many years to become a published writer and never really got anywhere. Then I decided to go on a holiday. This is before I was meditating. I was in Los Angeles, enjoying a walk down Venice Beach and feeling very relaxed, and suddenly it occurred to me that I should write a book about spin-doctoring and public relations because I had some experience in the field. And that was in '97, when spin-doctoring was becoming a big thing in Britain. I was in the right place at the right time, and I was able to see that with quite a degree of clarity."

Michie said clarity and objectivity can be especially important benefits in the corporate environment because stressed employees can lack the objectivity required to make effective decisions.

"For example, you're pitching your client or company into some position where you want to contract or sell products or services," said Michie. "If you're attached to the outcome and desperately want it to happen, that's not a really strong negotiating position to be in. It's far better to be in position of strength, where if the company likes it, great, but you really don't mind one way or the other."

Regular meditation can promote better overall health, as well, which can reduce absenteeism and improve engagement.

"We tend to become sick less often. It's a very practical thing, really, because our immune system benefits from regular meditation," he said. "It's the opposite of the fight-and-flight syndrome. Our production of endorphins increases significantly. Apart from being the feel good hormone, endorphins are also very good at repairing and protecting the body's immune system. Things like the common cold, flu, etc., you tend to get better at resisting. Even if you do suffer from them, you tend to suffer from them slightly less and in slightly shorter periods. I used to get really bad colds or flu every winter, which put me in bed for a week. But that hasn't really happened since I started meditating regularly."

The modern workplace can be a sensitive one, and some talent managers may worry about the suitability of meditation in the workplace and thus be hesitant to promote it. Michie said there aren't any religious or inappropriate connotations associated with meditation. It is a secular activity, he said, as evidenced by the growing popularity of transcendental meditation and research done in that area.

"There's not necessarily a relationship between meditation and religion," he explained. "There are a lot of people meditate who are not in any way religious, and they get the same benefits from it. For example, some of the most widely practiced forms of meditation are breath-based meditations, which involve counting cycles or inhaling through one nostril and exhaling through the other for three breaths and vice versa. But they don't involve anything to do with Jesus or Buddha or Muhammad. It's the fact that the repetition of a particular phrase has a calming effect on the mind."

Reference:
Kellye Whitney
[About the Author: Kellye Whitney is managing editor for Talent Management magazine.]