Sunday, November 29, 2009

Do Not Be Afraid of Rejection, Flirt!

By Wayne Brown Carter

It is somehow part of our biological make up for us, guys, to flirt with girls, although we may have suffered a lack of self-confidence in associating with them while we were growing up. For some reason, this insecurity may have been initiated while we were entering the adolescent period, and for a few, this have not disappeared. There is something probably magical about the maturity process of morphing from a teenage boy to a young man in the way we look and think.

Our capacity to achieve what our hearts long for is weighed down by this insecurity to mingle with women, notwithstanding the factors that may have caused it. This may ring true even in the other facets in our life like gaining eligibility to play football in high school, applying for a new job and flirting. Nevertheless, we accept the reality that to be able to get what we want, we have to purposely strive hard to reach our goals.

This is the same story as flirting with a girl and obtaining a new job. Our lack of capability to market ourselves is, in fact, the very source for our misery. In order to grab the attention of the female class, we flirt, which is really tantamount to delivering a sales pitch or an advertising tag line in order to sell ourselves. But how can a salesman sell a product he is not confident of? This makes self-confidence a central factor to become sell able to the opposite sex.

Many say that if we do not like ourselves, then others will find it difficult to like us. This is what happens in flirting and it has an immediate effect on ones success in flirting. The initial step to take when flirting is to refrain from entertaining the idea that you will be unsuccessful. By making no assumptions about the outcome of your attempts, you do not expect to succeed or fail. Nothing is lost then.

You are exposing your emotions to vulnerability if you expect too much from your flirting. Therefore, it is wise to accept the likelihood that the lady might say no. By taking this stance, you protect your feelings from getting hurt. You will impersonally manage rejection.

Flirting is just all about making the girl aware of your presence and engaging in chitchat to determine if you could get along well. When initiating small talk, we assume a casual attitude that keeps us from worrying if we get rejected or not.

If this fear is taken out from the scene, flirting will be seen as just a regular conversation although the point of the conversation is still to lure the individuals awareness. The critical success factor to flirting is to manage the fear of rejection.

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