Friday, November 13, 2009

That Jealous Eye!

By Benedict Perez

As a damaging factor in relationships, jealousy is a form of insecurity which becomes harmful to marriages principally when they become beyond control. Feelings and emotions brought about by jealousy typically crop up out of unreasonable fears of danger and doubt concerning certain facets of life. And naturally it is about that fretfulness that one might not be loved sufficiently by the other.

Stated more clearly, the green eye effect is normally based from implausible reasons or dubious points. A classic example of this is the fear of being left by the other spouse for another woman. Due to this mental trepidation, the fearing spouse will be unnecessarily distraught with malicious thoughts and clouded with unpleasant ideas. And when these are spitefully articulated it initiates the launch of a barrage of questions and complaints anchored on suspicion and skepticism.

Very crucial in dealing with jealousy is not to deny the same. Rather, it is very important to embrace this feeling. Thus the first step is to accept this feeling as something normal and something that can be done away with n time. It will not be very healthy if feelings like that are repressed within oneself. It will do good if these feelings are being recognized in its entirety but to control them in such a way as not to cause unnecessary arguments.

After that, a process of introspection should be undertaken by asking oneself what are these things that is causing too much doubt and suspension. Try to decipher within oneself, search for answers within oneself as to the reasons why feelings of insecurity crop up. Often this particular dilemma deals with questions of love, of self worth, and of personal confidence.

And verify whether these fears and anxieties are based on good grounds or valid reasons. It is imperative at this point in time to make sure if these insecurity-induced emotional disturbances are caused by authentic foundations. And if that is the case, then settle them daringly. If the cause is in fact your spouse, then it is prudent to present the concern with him or her in a mood of coolness and candidness. In any event, there are sure fire peace-making ways to mending up things in order to finally stop jealousy and go on living tough as well as worry free lives.

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