Monday, November 23, 2009

By Toni Tinkin

For most people, break ups are indeed one of the most difficult things to go through. They leave your emotions at an unsteady state and you have to constantly deal with painful memories and perhaps regrets. Both of you have already decided and settled in ending your relationship; however what happens if you know you still feel otherwise? It does happen - you wanting him back in your life. The only problem is that you absolutely have no idea how to do it. You know that you still love him but is it enough to win him back?

Deciding On Whether To Get Him Back Or Not

However, before doing anything that you may regret in the future, it is important that you first think it through. Do you really love him enough to want him back? Or do you simply miss the thought of having him around? If you feel that the second one fits you more, then perhaps getting your ex boyfriend back will not solve your problem. Maybe you simply need to spend more time by yourself and do the things you have always wanted to but did not since you were stuck in a relationship. Reassure yourself that you are doing well even if you are single. On the other hand, if you chose the first one, then you have to plan how you are going about your actions in getting him back.

Taking The First Step

The first step to get back your ex boyfriend is understand the reason for your breakup. Know the true cause why your relationship collapsed that you were left with no other choice than to separate. Have you become too possessive? Was he not giving time for you? Ask yourself if you have ever cheated on him or perhaps he was the one who cheated on you. There are so many reasons, simple and complicated, for couple breakups. Understanding the reason for yours will definitely help you in thinking of a way to solve it.

Focusing On The Essentials

Concentrate on the essentials, like making yourself more attractive. Relationships do tend to change people and perhaps over time, you too have changed unintentionally while you were with him. Know your previous mistakes and bad habits; and change them as much as you can. In addition, remember your strongest points while you were still with him and use them to your advantage. Remember his favorite dress of yours and wear it again. If you happen to meet him, share a light-hearted memory with him, perhaps the time when you made dinner for him, when you two shared an umbrella under the rain, or maybe the time when you first spent the night together. Make him once again feel good with being with you once more that may make him think that perhaps giving it a second try will make your relationship stronger.

Inviting Him For A Get-Together

Third, listen to him more. Invite him in a non-committal lunch or dinner and let him know that you still care for him. Even though you are not together anymore, let him feel that you still want the best for him and you are always there for him. Furthermore, be a strong person. Do not play pity with your ex boyfriend or else he may simply think that you are too emotional or desperate. Reassure yourself that even if you are single, you are still a confident and independent person. Lastly, make sure that your contact with him is lesser than before. Even if you may contact him for the above plans, make sure that you limit it. Let him miss you and let him think of you. When this happens, it may come across his mind that maybe breaking up with you was not the best idea after all.

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